The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Star Bores 9

Luke and Darth Vader are having one of their periodic light sabre duels.

(Swords clash. Lotsa sparks. Eventually the two are caught in a clinch which allows momentary conversation.)

Vader: "Lu-u-u--u-u-ke... I know what you got Obi Wan for Christmas."

Luke: "You couldn't know."

Vader: "You got him a board game."

Luke: (Furious) Grnghh. (Breaks, lunges, fighting renewed.)

(Swords clash again for a bit. Then another heavy breathing clinch.)

Vader: "Lu-u-u-u-u-u-u-uke... I know what you got Princess Leah for Christmas."

Luke: "But that's not possible."

Vader: "You got her a... teddy bear. Nyah ha, ha, ha."

(They break and swing their swords again for a bit. Ktersh, ktersh, ktersh, and all that. Presently another close quarters grapple means more conversation.)

Vader: "Lu-u-u-u-u-u-ke... I know what you got Han Solo for Christmas. You got him... a shirt."

Luke: But Lord Vader, how do you know what I got everyone for Christmas?

Vader: I felt your presents Luke.

Luke: Heelers over heard a girl telling that one to her friends years ago on a train to Galway.

Vader: He sure did.


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