from the heelers phone calls

The phone rang.
It was Yankee Joe.
"How do ya like being back in Ireland, Heelers?"
"Faygo it's like the end of the world. What the hell happened to this country? Did the Muslims nuke it with an unattractive women bomb? It's like a desert. After Boston this is insufferable. There are no good looking girls in  Ireland. It's unbelievable. I think they're actually trying to be unattractive. It's like... it's like... it's like a place with no good looking women in it. It's like a 1950's B movie, The Land That Good Looking Women Forgot. You know we made up the famine, right? We made it up because we had no good looking women and we wanted what you've got in Boston. Breughal should sue for copyright infringement. It's ----ing awful."