days of oh you know

Kilcullen church.
A handsome poet sits in the front pew asking the Deity for things.
Tis I.
In the choir loft my cousin Hector is gustily directing one of his protegees who is hammering away on the organ like the phantom of the opera.
My God how that woman can play.
At a distance of a hundred pews I note from some surreptitious backward glances, that she's also a good deal better looking than the average phantom of the opera.
Presently the music ceases and Father Baines, beckons a distinguished looking grey haired gent in the pew across the aisle from me to come forward and address the congregation.
The gentleman is from a charity which styles itself Trocaire.
In beautiful modulated tones he tells us: "Sudan and Somalia are facing famine. There is significant drought across the region. The temperature in Africa has risen by three degrees because of climate change."
Well bold readers.
Where to begin.
Remember I'm in a church.
There are limits to the canniptian I can throw.
But look.
Between you and me.
Neither Sudan nor Somalia is starving because of Climate Change. (Which by the way does not exist.)
Sudan is starving because it has enjoyed a fifty year civil war. During that civil war about four million people were killed by the Arab Islamist government. The victims were mainly Christians and the followers of tribal religions in the South. While that Civil War was going on, the Arab Islamist government of my old friend Omar Ahmed Hassan Al Bashir also found time to initiate a seperate Civil War with its citizens in the western Sudanese province of Darfur. We think 300,000 died there in the past ten years. The death toll all over Sudan had become so scandalous that a few years ago the Bashir government finally agreed to allow the South to secede and become its own nation, now styled South Sudan. The government of South Sudan has spent the past few years of its independence in another Civil War of its own. The South Sudanese civil war seems to be tribal as opposed to Islamist. But just to be clear. The last fifty years of continuous self inflicted mayhem is the only reason Sudan either North, South, East or West, cannot feed itself.
Somalia on the other hand has merely had a bare 26 years of continuous self inflicted internal Islamist psychopathalogical Civil War. Before that it endured the tender ministrations represented by fifty years of Soviet Russian imposed communism. Believe me gentle ones. The starvation in Somalia has nothing to do with Climate Change. It is purely and solely the result of 26 years of Islamist warfare and fifty years of Russian backed communist oppression.
That's it.
How can any of us be listening to fictionalised euphemisms about the climate as an explanation for the decades of murder that is before our eyes.
How can anyone with a conscience be telling Africans that their poverty is unrelated to their violence towards each other.
Do you really think that by propagating lies about climate change you're helping Africans?
Okay folks.
Okay.
I admit it.
There is another factor causing starvation in Sudan and Somalia.
Another ingredient in the maelstrom of destruction.
That ingredient is the actions of Western Charities in providing food aid for decades to both Sudan and Somalia, food aid which is routinely hijacked by the Islamists of both countries and has enabled them to keep their armies intact and well fed without doing a day's work in the past thirty years aside from killing and torturing people, food aid that is given without conditions and promptly used to sustain these unsustainable levels of violence and mayhem, unsustainable levels of violence and mayhem I might add, that would not have been sustained or had to be endured in any other circumstances without the charitable provision of free food by the charities to the murder gangs running those countries.
Western food aid has meant that Islamist armies can destroy farmland, bomb businesses, lay waste communities,ruin their own cities, and, and, and... and still get a square meal at the end of the day, or in this case at the end of fifty years of continuous murder.
So here I am sitting in Kilcullen church listening to what seems a very nice, very decent man propounding nonsense about Climate Change as the cause of hunger in Africa.
Should I say something.
I don't particularly want to sin against charity.
Why would I add that sin to my (insert word that means collection of many sins)... how about ubiquiton?
Yes.
I don't particularly wish to add a sin against charity to my ubiquiton of wrong doing.
Even if I have just added the word ubiquiton to the English language.

You can thank me later.
I suppose I could have called it a cornucopia.
But I digress.
What does one do?
I'm in a church.
To my left across the aisle I see that the grey haired gent has left a sheaf of Trocaire documents in his pew.
I stand up and walk over to the gentleman's pew.
All eyes are on me.
He is still orating on the altar, this time about Pope Francis' views on Climate Change.
Don't get me started.
I pick up a document he's left in his pew
I write on it: "Somali Civil War? Sudanese Civil War?"
Then I leave my Heelers Diaries contact card on top of the sheaf of papers.
Then I look up.
A quizzical grey haired gent has just returned to the pew/
I exit past him quickly back to my own seat.
Later at the sign of peace we both cross the centre aisle to shake hands with each other.