close encounters of the turd kind

"What do you want to do with your new car, Commander?"
"I suppose we might as well take it on board for a look."
"Will I use the tractor beam?"
"Nah. There's no such thing. Fly up along side it and then bring it into the cargo bay using our ship's extensible retractor arm."
"So we've no tractor beams?"
"That's about it. No transporter rooms either. Beam me up Scotty my aunt Fanny. Listen. If you convert someone to wave form, you know what's going to happen? They're going to be dead. And no force fields. There's no such thing and there never will be. No time travel either. The past cannot be visited because it no longer exists in the expansion. And no light speed. Light has no speed because it has no mass. You know Vartak sometimes I am quite astonished by how many earthlings have given up their faith in God while sustaining a vague but sincere belief in the non science of  Doctor Who, Time Tunnel, Superman, Space 1999, Star Wars and Star Trek."
"Some of those non sciences were fun."
"Shut your vlorpil. The only good science fiction film ever made was Dark Star."
"Right so I'll, er, bring the car on board using the mechanical extensible retractor arm, shall I?"
"You do that."
"Car's on board Commander."
"Let me have a look."
"What do you think of it close up?"
"It's still a ****ing Tesla."
"It's not so bad."
"Vortak have you lost your neural nitzers? It's ****ing awful. A car that doesn't ****ing work because it's supposed to be clean. I'll tell you this. If they keep throwing billion dollar government subsidies at Elon Musk to make these, the earthlings are going to find out the hard way that it's possible to turn prosperous countries into poor ones."