the ira a users guide
The IRA (or Rah) is a patriotic association of like minded individuals dedicated to the proposition that Irish children should grow up with a ready supply of cannabis, cocaine, amphetamines and heroin available on their doorstep at competitive prices.
It is a core IRA belief that all men are created equally capable of being addicted to saleable narcotics.
Hence the IRA's motto is: Life, liberty and a larger share of the drug trade than that held by any other comparable mafia in Europe or North America.
Opium is the opium of the people, goes the famous Rah dictum.
And they mean to supply it.
In a bid to avoid being pigeon holed as drug dealers, the IRA also robs banks, engages in people trafficking, and violates children on an industrial scale with images thereof sold on the internet by Eoin Eric Marques for profit.
The favoured method of bank robbery is no longer the old fashioned caveman approach with hirsute mumbly joe Rahmen bursting in to banks with shotguns bellowing: "This is a stick up."
This method had caused endless confusion when bank tellers and customers failed to understand the Rahmen's incomprehensible attempts at verbalising until they had been shotgunned to death.
Today the favoured IRA method for robbing banks (as used at Anglo Irish Bank) is much more civilised.
First the Rah buys the bank.
Then it subverts the management.
Then it gives itself billion dollar loans for fake business ventures until the bank collapses.
This method was borrowed from the Cosa Nostra who used it to rob the Banco Ambrosiano in Italy during the 1980's.
The IRA is a forward thinking, progressive organisation with a healthy sense of irony and a fine flair for humour. In spite of decades as a KGB Soviet Communist run operation answering to its Marxian masters in Moscow, the Rah still claims to be the legitimate representative of Catholic people in Northern Ireland.
The irony is screaming.
As were most of the IRA's thousands of victims (from murder, suicide and the drug trade) over the past forty years.
One might note that the IRA represents Catholicism only in the way that mass murderer Chairman Mao represented Chinese Buddhism, that is to say, not at all.
If you are fortunate enough to meet a Rahman be careful not to criticise his rancid hypocrisy as they don't like this.
The IRA nationwide is built around a scattering of clans, often the only heroic ne'er do wells and reporbates in a given village willing to make a living by poisoning their neighbours children with drugs.
These clans give themselves distinctive names, such as the New IRA, Continuity IRA, Independent IRA, Real IRA, Official IRA, Provisional IRA the INLA and what have you.
What Have You is considered the most dangerous IRA faction of all, just after the INLA a Rah faction set up to carry out atrocities that the Rah didn't want to be associated with, ergo its cunning non use of the much loved IRA acronym.
In 1991 the IRA decided to focus full time on its drug dealing, people trafficking and child abuse divisions, abandoning what it euphemistically called "the armed struggle" in Ireland.
This change of Rah strategy away from armed struggle with the British army, the Irish army, the police, the public and anything non Rah that moved in Ireland, coincidentally occurred as the Soviet Union collapsed and the KGB informed its Rah operatives that Russia would no longer be financing their attempts to murder Northern Ireland to freedom.
It would be churlish to suggest that the IRA abandoned the armed struggle simply because the Russians pulled out of the freedom fighting scam.
But let's be clear.
The IRA abandoned the armed struggle simply because the Russians pulled out of the freedom fighting scam.
Happily for all concerned, desisting from overt terrorism has left the IRA free to focus on its other beneficial community oriented activities.
This change in IRA strategy away from armed struggle terrorism towards a policy focussed solely on drug dealing, people trafficking and child abuse is known in Ireland as The Peace Process.
For all its faults the IRA continues to hold a pre eminent position in Irish cultural, public, political and commercial life.
Street front businesses are usually Rah fronts financed by Rah banks.
Politicians from all parties campaign at the Rah's behest for the legalisation of drugs. (The subverting of politicians from all parties is another trick borrowed from Cosa Nostra.)
Respected singers like Christie Moore immortalise the IRA in monumental works such as: "Let The Wicklow Boy Go Free," "La Quinta Brigada," and the more subtly elegaic "Oooh ahhh up the Rah."
And who could forget WB Yeats masterful poem:
"Simple Simon met a Rah man,
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Rah man,
---- off out of my country you evil drug dealing -----."
It is a core IRA belief that all men are created equally capable of being addicted to saleable narcotics.
Hence the IRA's motto is: Life, liberty and a larger share of the drug trade than that held by any other comparable mafia in Europe or North America.
Opium is the opium of the people, goes the famous Rah dictum.
And they mean to supply it.
In a bid to avoid being pigeon holed as drug dealers, the IRA also robs banks, engages in people trafficking, and violates children on an industrial scale with images thereof sold on the internet by Eoin Eric Marques for profit.
The favoured method of bank robbery is no longer the old fashioned caveman approach with hirsute mumbly joe Rahmen bursting in to banks with shotguns bellowing: "This is a stick up."
This method had caused endless confusion when bank tellers and customers failed to understand the Rahmen's incomprehensible attempts at verbalising until they had been shotgunned to death.
Today the favoured IRA method for robbing banks (as used at Anglo Irish Bank) is much more civilised.
First the Rah buys the bank.
Then it subverts the management.
Then it gives itself billion dollar loans for fake business ventures until the bank collapses.
This method was borrowed from the Cosa Nostra who used it to rob the Banco Ambrosiano in Italy during the 1980's.
The IRA is a forward thinking, progressive organisation with a healthy sense of irony and a fine flair for humour. In spite of decades as a KGB Soviet Communist run operation answering to its Marxian masters in Moscow, the Rah still claims to be the legitimate representative of Catholic people in Northern Ireland.
The irony is screaming.
As were most of the IRA's thousands of victims (from murder, suicide and the drug trade) over the past forty years.
One might note that the IRA represents Catholicism only in the way that mass murderer Chairman Mao represented Chinese Buddhism, that is to say, not at all.
If you are fortunate enough to meet a Rahman be careful not to criticise his rancid hypocrisy as they don't like this.
The IRA nationwide is built around a scattering of clans, often the only heroic ne'er do wells and reporbates in a given village willing to make a living by poisoning their neighbours children with drugs.
These clans give themselves distinctive names, such as the New IRA, Continuity IRA, Independent IRA, Real IRA, Official IRA, Provisional IRA the INLA and what have you.
What Have You is considered the most dangerous IRA faction of all, just after the INLA a Rah faction set up to carry out atrocities that the Rah didn't want to be associated with, ergo its cunning non use of the much loved IRA acronym.
In 1991 the IRA decided to focus full time on its drug dealing, people trafficking and child abuse divisions, abandoning what it euphemistically called "the armed struggle" in Ireland.
This change of Rah strategy away from armed struggle with the British army, the Irish army, the police, the public and anything non Rah that moved in Ireland, coincidentally occurred as the Soviet Union collapsed and the KGB informed its Rah operatives that Russia would no longer be financing their attempts to murder Northern Ireland to freedom.
It would be churlish to suggest that the IRA abandoned the armed struggle simply because the Russians pulled out of the freedom fighting scam.
But let's be clear.
The IRA abandoned the armed struggle simply because the Russians pulled out of the freedom fighting scam.
Happily for all concerned, desisting from overt terrorism has left the IRA free to focus on its other beneficial community oriented activities.
This change in IRA strategy away from armed struggle terrorism towards a policy focussed solely on drug dealing, people trafficking and child abuse is known in Ireland as The Peace Process.
For all its faults the IRA continues to hold a pre eminent position in Irish cultural, public, political and commercial life.
Street front businesses are usually Rah fronts financed by Rah banks.
Politicians from all parties campaign at the Rah's behest for the legalisation of drugs. (The subverting of politicians from all parties is another trick borrowed from Cosa Nostra.)
Respected singers like Christie Moore immortalise the IRA in monumental works such as: "Let The Wicklow Boy Go Free," "La Quinta Brigada," and the more subtly elegaic "Oooh ahhh up the Rah."
And who could forget WB Yeats masterful poem:
"Simple Simon met a Rah man,
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Rah man,
---- off out of my country you evil drug dealing -----."
posted by heelers | 11:35 PM
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