cafe insomnia naas job advertisement managerial position

 

WANTED FOR FULL TIME POSITION

ManagereSS.

With emphasis on the SS in ManagereSS.

Must be people person, ie capable of contrived rudeness and jobsworth style intimidation of customers.

German accent preferable.

Slatternly female applicants desirable with a talent and penchant for humiliating their betters.

Male applicants acceptable as long as they can show proof they are habitual drug users.

Interviewees will be expected to read and recite the following passage as thought they mean it.

"Your papers please... Vere is your European Union Covid 19 Digital Certificate?.. You vill show your papers or vee vill take you outside and refuse to serve you tea.... Talk, schweinhund... What is the location of ze Aries project?.. Does ze Code name Sapphire mean anything to you?.. You verdammte Brittischer schwein... You vill salute our Covid 19 Flag... You vill bow before us... Eat up your unborn babies... Ein tausand jahriges vaccination program. Ein Reich... Ein Volk... Ein Pharmaceutical Company... Es lebe Deutschlund, I mean Pfizer und Astra Zeneca und Johnson Und Johnson und all ze rest... Sieg heil... Sieg heil... Sieg heil..."

Only serious applicants need apply.