pope francis goes to hollywood

 

Cardinal Angelo Becciu bursts into the room.

Cardinal Becciu: "Your Jorge-ness, Your Jorge-ness, the people are revolting."

Pope Francis: "You got that right. They stink on ice."

Cardinal Becciu: "No Your Holiness. You don't understand. I mean there is a popular uprising in the Catholic church intent on removing you from office. What are we going to do?"

Pope Francis: "Relax Angelo, baby. You take things too seriously. Remember how we dealt with Cardinal Pell when he started getting uppity over our, er, irregularities at the Vatican bank."

FX: Music with a string pumping pulsing 1980s beat begins.

Pope Francis: (sings)

"Relax

Don't do it

When you want to Pope through it

Relax

Don't do it

When you wanna Pope

Relax don't do it

When you wanna suck Pope it

Relax don't do it

When you wanna Pope

Ner ner ner

Ner ner ner ner ner ner

Pell was shooting in the right direction.

He knew the mafia ran our town

He was a China shop moose

Dirty Harry on the loose

So we framed him

Framed him

Framed him

Framed him

Framed him for child abuse

Ner ner ner

I'm Poping

I'm Poping

Ner ner ner

Wuhhhhhhhhhh

Relax

Don't do it

When you want to climate change it

Relax don't do it

When you wanna Pope

Ner ner ner

Relax

Don't do it

When you want to mass inmigration it

Relax

Don't do it

When you wanna Pope

When you wanna Pope

Woh oh oh oh

You gotta dream those dreams

Scheme those schemes

Hit me

Hit me

Hit me

Hit me with those internet memes

Ner ner ner

I'm Poping

I'm Poping

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh."