irish folklore commission turns up previously unknown version of molly malone ballad

 

(a Heelers Diaries exclusive)

In Dublin's fair city

Where the girls are not all that pretty

I first set my eyes on sweet Tony O'Reilly

As he wheeled his bankrupt newspaper group

Through bank loans and ready ups

Crying abortions and condoms

Alive alive oh

Alive alive uh oh

Alive alive uh oh

Crying abortions and condoms

Alive alive uh oh

His staff hated Christians

And thought it was bitchin

To slander and malign the old Catholic Church

With incitements to hatred

And transgenderism feted

Abortions and condoms

They'll never besmirch

Alive alive uh oh

Alive alive uh oh

Crying abortions and condoms

Alive alive uh oh

Now a new white collar criminal

With bigotries subliminal

Has taken Tony's newspaper

And made it his own

With billion dollar losses

Amid reviling of crosses

Maybe it's time for another bank loan

Alive alive uh oh

Alive alive uh oh

Crying abortions and condoms

Alive alive uh oh