Light Relief

Afternoon in the Whitewater Centre.
The Mammy and Heelers are quaffing coffees.
The Centre bustles with life.
"I think I'll have a beagle," says the Mammy conversationally.
Heelers' noble heart freezes.
He favours his venerable parent with a searching stare.
It's the moment you'll see in the film version.
"You what?" sez he.
"I think I'll have a beagle," sez she.
Heelers continues to stare at her, and there is a troubling strangeness in his clear blue eyes. It is as if he is seeing her for the first time.
"So that's it," he murmurs. "The aliens have substituted one of their own for my Mother. A changeling. And it's always the little things that give you away. It might not matter where you come from. But let me tell you this. Here on planet earth there's a hell of a difference between a bagel and a beagle."
Ah bold travellers of the internet, it was hilarious I tells ee. If I still had a humour column that one would definitely be going in.