our television listings

RTE1
(The Irish national fraudcaster.)
4.25 Murder She Wrote. Jessica gets swine flu and is unable to solve any murders for a week.
5.20 The Bill. Ronsky gets chewed out by Pallaver over the narcotics bust. Meanwhile Miffley is out of sorts when he fails to get promotion to Detective Inspector while Pilchard develops a complex because her boobs are small.
5.45 Achooo. I mean Nuacht.
6.00 The Angelus. One minute of bell ringing. And this is the best programme on RTE.
6.01 News. Read by a lefty liberal atheistic fembo commie pinko Jihadi loving abortionist against the bomb.
6.30 Reeling In The Years. I don't care what this is.
7.00 Fresh From The Sea. Clodagh McKenna continues to present a food programme in her own inimitable style. The second best programme on RTE after The Angelus.
7.30 Eastenders. Anissa and James run away to Tunisia.
8.00 Fair City. You know yourself loike Missus Keaveney. Part 5000 of a 100,000 part episode.
8.30 How Long Will You Live? Who wants to know?
9.00 News. More from those lovable fembos.
9.30 The Rutland. Yawnfest.
10.35 A Song For Dad. Wearisome RTE types bore for Ireland about their family life.
11.35 News. In case you haven't been programmed to support Barack Obama and acquiesce to Al Qaeda, here's yet more from RTE's in house left wing gauleiters of thought, The Fembo Commie Pinkos.
11.40 Boston Legal. RTE's lawyer fetish continues.