secrets of the universe

Uncle James' patented guide to physical attraction.
(Patented in the sense that it's patently insane.)

1. No lissom German med student in the history of the Reich, has ever been attracted to a man she's just seen in the Starbucks Cafe on Dawson Street filching a half eaten chocolate chip cookie from an adjoining table before the waiter can clear it away.

2. No pretty counter assistant, working in a Dublin pharmacy or anywhere else, has in the history of the human race ever been even mildly attracted to a man to whom she has just sold worm tablets.

3. Don't bother with air hostesses. They don't mean it.

4. What Irish women consider a pot belly, Spanish women consider an irresistable and magnificent invitacion de amor.

5. Women with gnarly toes should not wear open topped sandles.