on stopping by starbucks on a snowy evening with a golden hamster up my jumper

Whose cafe this is I think I know

His corporate headquarters is in seattle though

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his cafe fill up with proles
***

My little hamster must think it queer

To stop without a hamster cage near

Between the grocery and the bookshop with the dude where's my car counter assistants

The darkest evening of the year

***
He gives the spare tyre on my belly a nip

To remind me to leave the russian waitress a tip

The only other sounds the shriek

I unleash at the sight of my own blood

***
This waitress is lovely dark and sexy

But I have a biting hamster in my jersey

And budgies to feed before midnight mass

And budgies to feed before midnight mass