The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

sesame heelers

The American children's show Sesame Street is getting more controversial every episode.
One of Sesame Street's most famous features is a weekly Guessing Game where the television screen is divided into four compartments and you see four people going about their business, one in each compartment, and you've to guess the odd one out.
While you're trying to guess the answer, a Muppet sings:
"Three of these guys have something in common.
Three of these guys are kinda the same.
One of these guys is doing his own thing.
Can you tall me his name?
It's time to play our game.
Ner, ner, ner, ner, ner, ner, ner."
It's very catchy.
Last week's edition of Sesame Street had the usual Guessing Game segment but with topical Irish characters instead of the usual generic American mailmen, police, bakers, etc etc.
In the top left compartment you had Monica Leech.
Monica Leech famously sued Independent Newspapers for libel after Independent Newspapers attempted to report the circumstances in which Monica Leech had been awarded a two hundred thousand dollar contract to design a pissant little website which no one every visited, by a corrupt government Minister in Ireland's now defunct kleptocratic Fianna Fail party.
A trial presided over by Judge Eamon DeValera, (yes a direct descendent of the founder of Ireland's now defunct kleptocratic Fianna Fail party also called Eamon De Valera) awarded her two million dollars when she claimed that she felt the Independent Newspapers coverage had implied she might have been having an affair with the corrupt kleptocratic goverment Minister concerned.
On Sesame Street, Monica Leech can be sign beavering away in her office.
Right across from her, in the top right hand compartment on the television screen, we see Donal Kinsella, known in Ireland as the naked ape.
Several years ago Donal Kinsella, a senior employee of a particular company, was caught trying to gain access to one of the same company's lady employee's hotel bedrooms at an overseas company conference in Africa.
Donal Kinsella was found outside this particular lady's bedroom on three occasions in one night demanding entry.
She was his subordinate in the company.
Stinks, doesn't it!
He knew where this particular lady's bedroom was because he had originally been booked into it himself but had earlier suggested she use it instead, purportedly so that she could have some privacy.
On each of the three occasions when Donal Kinsella arrived at the lady's bedroom door demanding entry that fateful night, he was stark buck naked.
Donal Kinsella claimed that he was drunk on the night in question, suffered from somnambulism (ie sleep walking), and hadn't brought any pyjamas to the company conference in Africa.
Shortly afterwards, the company that employed him released a damage limitation press release about his attempts to gain access to the hotel bedroom of a junior company employee on three occasions in one night while stark buck naked.
The naked ape promptly sued the company that employed him for libel claiming to have been deeply hurt by the damage limitation press release.
In a trial presided over by (wait for it) Judge Eamon De Valera, direct descendant of the founder of Fianna Fail also called Eamon De Valera, Donal Kinsella the naked ape was awarded nothing less than fifteen million dollars.
In the bottom left of the television screen, directly below Monica Leech, we see Rosanna Davidson, the haggish anti Catholic daughter of twee pop singer Chris De Burgh. (I quite like Chris De Burgh - Ed note.)
Some months ago Rosanna Davidson was supposedly called racist by a manager at Ryanair on a website no one reads.
She sued for libel and was awarded sixty grand in a court case presided over by (yawn) Judge Eamon De Valera, the direct descendent of the founder of Fianna Fail also called Eamon De Valera.
On Sesame Street she can be seen miming to a medley of her father's hit, while counting her sixty grand.
On the bottom right of your screen, you see Father Kevin Reynolds.
The Irish national broadcaster RTE recently attempted to ruin him and his family and his Church by falsely maliciously and malignly claiming live on television, that Father Reynolds had raped a child in Africa and then fathered a child with that child.
RTE repeated its malicious attempt to destroy Father Reynolds, his family and his Church, on subsequent radio programmes.
Father Reynolds received an undisclosed payment from RTE in compensation.
His case never came to trial.
He probably got a couple of hundred grand.
I will be paying the bill for RTE's vicious attempt to vitiate Father Kevin Reynolds reputation.
RTE is funded from compulsory taxation on any member of the general public who dares to own a television set.
I kid you not.
There are no consequences for these people.
They're caught trying to destroy a human being, and we all pick up the tab.
The wheel is rigged and it's the only game in town.
The journalist responsible for libelling Father Kevin Reynolds, Miss Aoife Kavanagh will not pay a cent.
Sesame Street neatly juxtaposes these four "victims" of libel on screen while Kermit the frog sings most engagingly in front of them.
Kermit sings:
"Three of these guys claim they were libelled.
Three of these guys have really no shame.
One of these guys was genuinely slandered.
Can you guess his name?
It's time to play our game.
Ner, ner, ner, ner, ner, ner, ner.
Three of these guys are fraudulent b------ds.
Three of these guys are truly a pain.
One of these guys is a victim of RTE bigots.
Can you tell me his name?
It's time to play our game.
Ner, ner, ner, ner, ner, ner, ner."


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