do humourists dream of electric walter mitties

Wandered into Kilcullen supermarket.
If you had been there this afternoon gentle readers, you might have spotted me among the tired shoppers, squalling babies and wayward teens.
I was the non tired non baby non teenage, preraphaelite poet browsing at the newspaper stand, a handsome striking somewhat craggy figure moving like an unusually good looking ghost midst the everyday clangour of small town life.
With moderate disdain I selected and then endeavoured to purchase a Daily Mail for the Dad.
I presented it at the counter.
Hoping to make a quick exit.
My heart sank.
The cheeky middle aged counter assistant elbowed past her younger more polite more sexy colleague, favoured me with a cheeky grin from under her dramatically dyed blonde hair and took the Daily Mail in her cheeky hands.
All the middle agers are cheeky to me folks.
They think I'm a teen in need of dressing down.
Something I've got must smell like teen spirit.
Anyhoo.
Cheeky pointed to a picture of Senator David Norris on the cover of the Daily Mail.
"What's he so happy about?" quoth she.
"He's been nominated for the Presidency," I answered warily.
I waited for her comment.
David Norris is an unseemly fellow and should not be standing for the Presidency.
His recent accomplishments include advocating the abandonment of any minimum age of consent for sexual activity (Thereby removing the cultural and legal taboo on raping children), and lobbying the Israeli courts to have a male rapist of male children who also happend to be at one stage Senator Norris' male boyfriend, released from custody without serving a prison sentence.
Senator Norris has also spoken approvingly of what he calls "classic Greek paedophilia," ie the barbarous practice in ancient Greece of raping children.
And the Paddies have nominated him to stand for the Presidency.
I ask you.
Senator David Norris' big breakthrough in getting the nomination came when another Presidential candidate the atheistic abortionist Maoist Michael D Higgins of the Labour Party, urged Labour Party members to help nominate Senator Norris in the interests of what Michael D Higgins calls democracy.
Incidentally Irish Presidential candidate Michael D Higgins has refused to repudiate his old friend Danilo Ortega De Saavedra former communist dictator of Nicaragua, now an elected holder of that post, who throughout the 1980's and 1990's liked to get his jollies by raping his adopted teenage daughter.
You couldn't make it up.
I wondered how my cheeky good hearted dyed blonde salt of the earth supermarket vendor of Daily Mails would take Mr Norris' nomination as a candidate for President of Ireland.
She is no respecter of persons.
Would she be bigoted, cruel, acquiescent or triumphalist?
Would she try to blame me for the Senator's nomination?
Anything was possible with this lady.
One thing I was sure of.
She would not be indifferent to the news.
Cheeky did not disappoint.
"The world is gone mad," she pronounced with great restraint and no little elan, handing me the Daily Mail.
My craggy features broke into a grin.
"God bless you," I said fervently.
Her salt of the earth cheeky wisdom had quite made my day.