uncle jayums shows you how to deal with these harsh recessionary times while retaining your spiritual equilibrium in tense situations

I enter the Spar supermarket attached to the Topaz garage on the Sallins road in the town of Naas.
I am loathe to buy fuel at Topaz garages, because the one ten miles up the road on the Dublin dual carriageway, carries porn magazines, and its petrol pumps charge you fifty pence before they give you any petrol.
But up to today, I've been willing to shop in Spar outlets.
I am buying in bulk for the Dad.
Four cartons of orange juice, four vegetable soups, a packet of buns, biscuits, fruit and veg.
A female manager approaches me.
Her manner is polite enough.
"Are you shopping?" she asks.
"I am," sez I.
She indicates the Lidl supermarket bag which I am using to hold my purchases.
"We'd prefer if you'd use one of our own baskets," she tells me.
"Oh," I say.
"I'll get you one," she says.
"No, don't do that," sez I, beginning to replace items on the shelves.
"I will, they're just over here."
"No," I say a bit more firmly, "don't do that."
She desists.
I replace the last item from my Lidl bag and leave the Naas Spar supermarket on the Sallins Road for the last time.