The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Sunday, January 15, 2012

our television listings

(The Irish national fraudcaster, financed by compulsory taxation on the citizenry but run by the Marxists for the Marxists of the Marxists.)
09.00 Murder She Wrote. Jessica is arrested after Sheriff Snurdlebaum realises that an average of one murder a week has taken place wherever she's residing for the past ten years.
10.00 Hawaii Five, Oh! Violent remake of the orginal violent cop series from the seventies. The casting is abysmal. Very hard to root for leading characters who look like the guys from my town who get into fights at the local boozer every Friday. Also whoever made the present version doesn't seem to understand that the best thing about Hawaii Five Oh was the music. The original score has been retained but it's much truncated.
11.00 Friends. Trendy sitcom. Chandler gives Monica three hundred grand for a blow job. (To design a website surely - Ed note.) Ross sets up an alternative government and closes down the Irish embassy to the Vatican while purchasing yet another worthless gangster bank for the nation using ten thousand million dollars he borrowed against unborn generations. Joey moves to Boston with a thousand million dollars he stole from the Irish people, and changes his name to David Drumm.
12.00 The News. Read by Mao Tse Tung.
1.00 Cretinously Delicious. Cookery programme. This week: How to cook a steinervorzel in fried zorgabongs.
2.00 Everybody Loves Raymond. A sitcom that's actually entertaining. Particularly when Stefania is in it.
3.00 Farming With Snodgrass. Programme for the mentally unhinged.
4.00 Blockbusters. Islamic edition presented by the Ayatollah Beheshti. Winners get an all expenses paid pilgrimage to Meccah. Losers are beheaded.
6.00 Dusty's Trail. People would watch this if RTE showed it.
7.00 The Mary Tyler Moore Show. See Dusty's Trail.
8.00 News And Weather. Ready by Vladimir Ilyich Lenin.
10.00 The Late Late Show. Ryan Tubridy's homage to himself.
11.00 States Of Fear. The late Mary Raftery's most famous and most invidious attack on the Catholic Church. Invidious in that I was forced to finance her bigoted propaganda. Yes Mary Raftery's vision was financed to the hilt by Catholic people like me who are forced by legislation to contribute funds to RTE which in turn insists on disbursing our money to dessicated atheistic humanists like Mary Raftery in order to facilitate Mary Raftery's hatred for the Christian faith. Don't get me wrong. Mary Raftery wasn't an atheist in the sense that someone might be called atheist who honestly doesn't believe in the existence of the Deity. Mary Raftery was an atheist in the sense that she was part of an organised political project to eradicate Christianity from the Republic of Ireland. She and her ilk openly vaunt themselves as atheistic humanists which is more or less the rebranding of choice favoured by former advocates of the more murderous forms of international communist dictatorship. Personally I've always quibbled with their hijacking of the word humanist. I don't see what's so humane about denying the dignity and sanctity of human life or the glory of the creator. Atheistic gormlessness would be a more accurate term for this most deluded of ideologies.
12.00 Closedown. I wish they would close the bloody thing down. Or failing that, finance it themselves. I'm tired of atheistic humanists conspiring for the destruction of my nation and the world while dining out on my dime.


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