The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

an open letter to the abortionist daily mail

Sirs and Madams.
I noticed an article by one of your drones in Sector Seven Gee last week.
A drone styling herself Eithne Tobin.
Her byline informed the readers that she was writing for you while a certain Mary Carr drone was on holiday.
I read the article on the express understanding that it would not be written by Mary Carr.
Thankfully it wasn't.
But here's larks.
I hardly expected to find it was written by me.
I mean, I hardly expected to find my own work in the pages of the abortionist Daily Mail, bylined by something called Eithne Tobin.
For Eithne Tobin, following the grand tradition of Daily Mail plagiarists throughout the ages, had lifted her exquisite put down of the Irish Stalinist television station RTE, direct from the pages of the Heelers Diaries.
To wit: "Irish people see no reason why they should be compelled by direct taxation to finance a television station they don't watch or approve of."
Hilarious no.
Nicely worded Eithne.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
Anything else I can help you with there?
I mean bloody hell.
Listen lads.
Why don't you just rename the Daily Mail, the Heelers Diaries and be done with it.


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