mirror in may

I wandered into the Riverbank Theatre in Newbridge last month to check out an exhibition featuring work by more than a dozen artists from across the heartland. Imagine my reaction on beholding a painting which showed a crucifixion scene with the fictional literary character Noddy as the victim. Words failed me. They fail me now. I moved quickly on. The next painting, by a different artist, though united to the former by a spirit of uninspired mediocritous conformist pseudo radicalism, the next painting I say, was a juvenile masturbatory depiction of a faux sexual image featuring a faux sexual woman in a faux sexual short dress. Words failed me again. That was twice in one day. Too much. I left after first glancing at the visitors book. The visitor's book informed me that five year old school girls had viewed the Noddy Crucifixion and the Porno In Short Skirt. I knew five year old school girls had viewed these paintings from the handwriting in the visitors' book and from the fact that I recognised one of the names there as her parents are friends of mine. What a privilege it is for all of us to be financing the ruination of children's minds through the largesse of Kildare County Council in distributing public funding to artist's whose work is as unsaleable as it is blasphemous, as fervourless as it is vulgar, as tasteless as it is sexless, as worthless as it is obscene.