The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

My Photo
Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Wednesday, July 02, 2014

archie returns

Archbishop Diarmuid Martin's failed attempt two years ago to force a generation of Bishops from office simply by labelling them all concealers of child abuse, along with his additional failure shortly afterwards to stampede Pope Benedict into firing them, his failure in both these gambits I say, has not led to any long term alteration in Archie's overall strategic ambition to marxianise Christianity by usurping power and promoting himself as the putative leader of the Catholic Church in Ireland.
As before Archie's main allies in popular discourse are Independent Newspapers, interestingly enough the most anti Catholic media group in Europe.
The Irish Independent continues to give improbable prominence to twee reports suggesting Archie is a genuine Catholic.
Why do they like him so!
We've had slavish coverage of Archie's opportunistic defence of the family.
Photos of Archie leading interdenominational processions in the streets.
A Johnny Come Lately Archie calling for traditional values.
And a rather ridiculous comparison between Archie and a new Bishop called Kevin Donlon whom the Independent falsely claims is a "protégée" of Archie's.
Archie's protégée indeed.
Kevin Donlon is many things.
A protégée of Archie's he's not.
Let me explain
I happen to know Kevin Donlon well.
In fact he's my protégée.
I mean I corresponded with him briefly via email, oh for at least a full two days, while he was writing for the genuinely Christian newspaper Alive.
During this period (two days) I gave him extensive pointers.
Counselled him about where he was going wrong.
Favoured him with a bit of modestly sublime spiritual direction.
Advised him on international politics etc etc.
I also seem to remember accusing him of being too favourably disposed to Muslims in general and Palestinians in particular with regard to his writings on the State of Israel.
With fatherly concern, I suggested to him that the only reason the Jewish people are back in the Holy Land after two thousand years is because God wants them there.
He answered me robustly enough.
And now I hear he's being made a Bishop.
There ya go.
I never pick a wrong un.
Kevin Donlon's accession to the Bishopric is for me like that moment when a young unknown called Reggie McGroarity who made his stage debut in my Vampires Of Dublin play back in 1996, suddenly last year started appearing in television ads both sides of the Atlantic for Amstel larger.
I'm telling ya.
Neither Kevin Donlon the Bishie, nor Reggie McGroarity the professional inebriate, is conceivable without my formative input.
I made them and I can break them.
Well you know what I mean.
And you can imagine my chagrin gentle voyagers of the internet, now that Independent Newspapers is daring to declare that one of my protégées is actually a protégée of my old nemesis Archbishop Machiavelli Martin.
Fire in the disco, fire in the Taco Bell, as we do say in the trade.
Seriously folks.
Kevin Donlon is nothing like Archie.
Let me sum it up for you in one little revelation of the character of both of them.
All egomania to one side for a moment.
Here's the difference between Kevin Donlon and Archie.
A medical facility styled Saint Vincent's Hospital in Dublin recently announced that it would start murdering unborn babies through the provision of surgical abortions.
When that announcement was made Kevin Donlon immediately resigned from the Board of Saint Vincent's Hospital.
Archbishop Diarmuid Martin, Chairman of the Board of Saint Vincent's Hospital, stayed right where he was.
Kevin Donlon, who frankly disagrees with me about everything, is a genuine Christian.
Archbishop Diarmuid Martin is something else.
I have nothing further to add.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

His name is Kevin DORAN.

1:38 AM  
Blogger heelers said...

If I say my protégée's name is Dolan, then it's Dolan.

1:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You said it was Donlon.

1:43 AM  
Blogger heelers said...

Shut your hole.

1:44 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home