greatest triumphs of the irish police force

1. Irish police have rescued eight foreign national teenagers who were being used as slaves in Ireland by mafia gangs.
Some of the teenagers have been sent back to Romania, no doubt to the custody of the very parents who sold them into slavery.
The Irish police have been trumpeting the action as a success.
The police have arrested a grand total of no one from among the mafia gangs who were using the children as slaves.

2. Irish police have arrested a woman on charges of claiming sick leave while not being sick. I kid you not. Yes. The useless mafia complicit Irish police force has arrested a woman for phoning in sick to work.

3. Irish police have arrested a man and our public prosecution service has pressed charges against him for sending a mildly pejorative email to famously corrupt Justice Minister Alan Shatter, who has since resigned. This case requires wisdom as there is a chance that the whole thing has been staged in order to create case law in Ireland for censoring internet commentary. Nonetheless while IRA Al Qaeda Triad devil worshipping Nigerian rackateer Russian mob mafia gangs are dividing Ireland into personal fiefdoms, the Irish Police have arrested and charged a man with the purely notional crime of telling Alan Shatter in an email to get lost.









Footnote: I always describe the Nigerian gangs as "devil worshipping" since clear annotated verifiable evidence emerged five years ago from Irish social workers that Nigerian gangstahs in Ireland routinely use black magic to cow their female prostitutes, and in addition that one of the mainstays of the Nigerian rackets in Ireland is the trafficking of children into London for sacrifice to satan. I would humbly suggest to those employees of Independent Newspapers and the Irish Times who have become accustomed to reading the Heelers Diaries for a few superior larfs, that they might do well to investigate that element of Nigerian rackateering which I have just revealed to them, and when they have established the absolute veracity of what I'm saying, that they bring it to public attention. What we make unsayable, we make very dangerous. Such evils as we name, lose much of their power and prestige. I am calling you to heroism my gentle Irish Times Independent Newspapers friends.