the tough man

 Sitting on a bench in a park.

A tough man approaches and sits down.

I recognise him but it is not true to say I know him exactly.

I know of him.

We have never been introduced.

"Will you talk?" he asks.

Sometimes I won't talk bold readers because there are people who think I'm talking because I'm afraid of them.

I don't like to let them get confused.

But today whatever the whimsy, I indicated that I would talk.

"I have a brain chemistry disorder," said the tough man out of the blue. "I've been on anti depressants for twenty years."

"I have to ask you," I said, "and I mean nothing by it. I'd ask anyone the same question. How do you know you have a brain chemistry disorder?"

"My doctor told me."

"When?"

"Twenty years ago."

"Okay."

I asked him a few questions about his life and he answered.

Then I said: "Do you mind me asking where you live. Okay. My image of that is that it is a tough place to live. No disrespect to the people or the buildings. But it's a tough place. There are pressures for anyone living there. Nothing to do with your brain chemistry. It's a tough place for anyone to live. The dogs in the street know that on that estate you've got to get used to being offered Maloneys drugs every day of your life from childhood on. Maloney's drugs will destroy you as will being a member of his gang. I don't care if they're what you call soft drugs. My testimony to you is that they will steal your life and leave you with nothing. Marijuana today is about fifty times stronger than it was twenty years ago. You might as well be electrocuting your brain direct from the mains and then wondering why you don't feel good.If you take them, those drugs will damage you as much as what the doctors are now dosing you with. Again nothing to do with your brain chemistry. Another thing. On that estate, if you're not friends with the Maloney gang, they'll make your life a misery. That'll damage you too. I knew the guy who jumped off the bridge. It'll be real misery. No brain chemistry disorder there. Thugs making your life a misery. A perfectly reasonable response to misery is to be miserable. Your brain is working fine. If you are friends with them, that brings consequences and pressures too. They destroy everything they touch. Do you go to church? I'm not judging. I'm just saying our generation is the first generation in recorded history to think we could live without God and we're finding out the hard way that we can't. And doctors are telling us we have brain chemistry disorders. It's hilarious. Living without God is not a brain chemistry issue. It's an issue of ignoring the Creator of the Universe who made you for himself. No one on earth has ever managed to do it and be happy. Do you have a job? Any bullying there. Right then. You're ahead of the chase. Some of us can't hold down a job or if we have one we're getting a hard time in the work place. American Psychologists would be very optimistic about your prospects for mental healing since you're employed and you don't have workplace problems. Relationships? Married? Okay, okay. Do you watch pornography? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. No brain chemisty disorder there. But if you're watching it, it will take your peace and ruin your personhood. Have you taken part in any of the sorcery stuff going on in the town? Black magic, devil worship, ouijie boards, that sort of thing? If you're doing it, it will destroy you, brain chemistry, body and soul. Any unforgiveness in your life? Anyone do anything really lousy to you that you've never let go of? Forgive it all. That's a heap of healing right there. Have you ever read the Gospel of Saint Matthew? Listen. All I can do is tell you what I think. Medicine has taken a tremendous wrong turn in the mass dispensing of anti depressants. Anti depressants are inherently harmful for everyone who takes them.  If you decide to come off anti depressants, you're probably going to need back up. You'll be as addicted to those as you are to Maloney's poisons. So there will be withdrawal pain. But withdrawal pain is the good kind of pain. It's the pain of your body saying to you: 'every day in every way I'm getting better and better.' You'll need the help of people you trust, family maybe or any one you can really confide in as a friend. Get other advice. You've talked to me and I've given you my honest assessment. This is the best I can do. What I'm saying to you, I truly believe. There's nothing wrong with your brain chemistry. There never was anything wrong with your brain chemistry. You were suffering a lot and making some terrible decisions. But your mind has an ability to heal itself. It wants to be well. You were made to be well. Lose the porno. Lose the hoorin and toorin. Lose the sorcery. Lose the drugs. Lose the television. Forgive, forgive, forgive. Read the Gospel of Saint Matthew. Pray. Go to church. Doctors can't say that to you in case you'd sue them for being judgemental. And anyway they can't make money in treatement that simply involves guiding you towards making an effort to address things in your life that are hurting you and that you need to change. The anti depressants are not rectifying anything. They are preventing you from experiencing reality. They are preventing you from identifying and addressing the issues you need to address in order to be at peace with yourself. They are blocking your brain function. And they're damaging you. If you decide I've spoken truly, consider carefully your next step. I am saying you can be well. Get help. From someone who doesn't think drugs are the answer to everything. And regardless of what you think of me, go to church and ask God for his help."

In five minutes talking to him, I'd gotten the clinical history his doctor hadn't bothered looking for twenty years ago.

And I'd establsihed that he'd spent twenty years on the same anti depressants that no one is meant to be prescribed for any longer than six weeks.

I ask you.

Have the doctors got a conscience?

It's a rum world.

People and clinicians will flee from five hundred coherent rational explanations for mental pain.

And along the way they'll embrace every horror they meet.

And they are oh so comfortable with brain chemistry.