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 TONIGHT

On Brian Byrne's blog...

There will be absolutely no report, indeed mention, of the Hutch gang moving into Kilcullen and establishing our town as a new gangster enclave (just like Moyross in Limerick) as they flee Dublin's inner city which they have already rendered utterly unliveable for the rest of the people of Dublin.

There will be no report on lowlife thug former police officer Stephen Kinneavey's ten year harssment of James Healy.

There will be no report on the Maloney gang's half a century of drug dealing to the children of Kilcullen.

There will be no report on the circumtances surrounding the death of the Decker Berney.

INSTEAD

There will be an exclusive report on how nice Kilcullen is with unicorns gambling on main street and comely maidens dancing at the crossroads.

There will be a report on a so called People Of The Year award presented to thug Stephen Kinneavey by an unnaccountable organisation styling itself Kilcullen Community Action or some such nonesuch. Our on the spot report of this presentation will omit the fact that at the ceremony when the award was announced there were boos and jeers and that the recipient didn't even have the courage to attend the event. There will be no speculation in our fearless penetrating report about one of Kinneavey's hoors arranging the award and writing the award citation.

There will be a hand wringing report and photograph of the latest Kilcullen suicide victim with kind hearted hypocrites erecting a monument to the victim without ever so much as considering getting together to drive the drug gangs (Maloneys, Hutches and the clan gang operating out of the Alke Babish chipper and associated food outlets run by Zeytoun Restaurants Ltd) out of our town. There will be obituaries published whenever one of the Maloneys pops his clogs which at no time mention the origin of the Maloneys' scratch that is to say their fifty year income stream from poisoning the children and adults of Kilcullen with drugs and porn movies.

Music Break.

As the ad concludes, the Norwegian pop group Aha sing thusly:

"Hold me

Close to your hea-r-r-rt

Touch me

The sun always shines

On TV

Hold me

Swimming in pious hypocritical shi-i-i-i-te

Touch me

The sun always shines

On Brian Byrne's useless arse of a website."

**********************

(Heelers Diaries Internal Memos not for publication).

Ed note: Shouldn't those unicorns be gambolling?

Heelers note: Nah. In Kilcullen the unicorns gamble to keep their minds off the pain. Lotto tickets and Poker mostly.