news round up storms in small town tea cups caused by climate change official etc etc

 

There was consternation at a Kilcullen medical clinic today when Charlton Heston burst out of a vaccination room screaming: "Soylent Green is people." The waiting gulpens had no idea what he was talking about and Charlton was quickly restrained, forced to down ten extra quarts of vaccine and hustled back to the old folks home.

There was hilarity in financial circles today when working class hero Senator Mark Wall of the Labour Party presented a signed petition to Bank Of Ireland Chief Executive Francesca McDonough requesting that the closure of the Kilcullen branch of Bank of Ireland be cancelled. The hilarity ensued when Francesca McDonough for her part presented Mark Wall with a petition from Bank of Ireland asking Kilcullen people to pay their bank debts, to stop burning their own restaurants to the ground in order to avoid paying their bank debts, to stop allowing their town be turned into a mobster enclave for the Hutch gang, the Maloneys, the Alke Babish chipper clan gang et al, to stop dealing drugs, and to tell community broadcaster Brian Byrne and top climate change boff Noel Clare to give it a rest.

There was shock in the European parliament today when a Corona Virus claimed live on air: "I'm the flu."