heelers gazetter of the world

 

(with notes on quaint curios and aspects of particular interest)

The Norfolk Broads: Big breasted English women with distinctive accents.

The Geeks: Pre nerd civilisation in Southern Europe. Believed to have built the Parthenon and other structures with heavy empahsis on columnar features. Later much immitated by the Romans. (See proto nerds.)

Scotland: Home of the haggis. (A girl I went out with in the 1980s.)

Newgrange: Five thousand year old Neolithic tomb in the Boyne valley County Meath, built between 1962 and 1975 by Professor Michael J O'Kelly and his team of stoner dudes from Cork University Department of Archaeology. They finished work on it just in time for the Punk era which is believed to have wiped out the dinosaurs. (Dinosaurs = Members of Academic Faculties who for reasons of integrity, refuse to attribute their recent contructions to purely fictional ancient civilisations.)

The Leochal Cushnie Monument: Three thousand year old neolithic stone circle monument located near Aberdeenshire hilariously revealed last year to have been built by local farmer in the 1990s.

Stonehenge, Salisbury Plain, England: Well who knows. There are some suggestions that Professor Michael J O'Kelly and his stoner dudes from Cork University holidayed here in the 1950s before they began work constructing the five thousand year old megalithic site at Newgrange in Ireland.

Baluchistan: I don't know where this is. But what a great name.

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch: Bless you.

Taj Mahal: Professor Michael J O'Kelly the Archaeological faculty of Cork University (Stoner dude division) holidayed here in the 1940s. I'm just saying is all.

Great Barrier Reef: Natural feature supposedly made of living coral in the ocean off Australia where Doctor Michael J O'Kelly and various Cork University faculty members used to holiday in their youth.

Orinoco Flow: Interminable drivel by singer styling herself Enya. Also a river somewhere.

Megaliths and Neoliths: The terms are interchangeable and are used to describe academic staff and students from the Archaeological Faculty at Cork University. (cf Stoners.)