the ineluctable modality of fox news

 

I have just read an article on the Fox News website.

The reason I read the article is because it was headlined thusly:

"MATTHEW PERRY REVEALS DARK SIDE OF ADDICTION JOURNEY, OPENS UP ABOUT NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE IN NEW MEMOIR"

The reason such a headline on a Fox News website would cause me to read such an article is because the phrase "near death experience," in common parlance has come to mean a claim by the participant to have experienced something supernatural while in danger of dying and I thought it would be rum to see what a Hollywood celebrity might have encountered with regard to such things.

The Matthew Perry article had no mention of the supernatural beyond the very famous and accomplished actor Matthew Perry claiming that being on a ventilator machine was a Hail Mary play.

Fox was using the phrase "near death experience," merely to indicate the actor claims he nearly died and to lure gulpens like me into reading it.

I read the whole article copiously waiting for some reference to an encounter with the Deity.

Then I read it again just to check.

No it was the same anodyne drugs and booze rubbish with the classic cliche claim beloved of rich celebrities that his addiction issues  arose after a jet ski accident when he became addicted to pain killers.

The article was insufferable tripe.

No special guest appearance by the Almighty.

Just maunderings about nearly dying from a life of excess.

I myself could become addicted to pain killers after readiug it.

I feel cheated.