the lilt of irish laughter

Me and the Lildebeest drinking afternoon tea at the Cafe Des Beaux Parvenus in Newbridge Silverware.

"There's a man over there with a huge belly," says the Lilt conversationally. "He looks as if he's about to burst."

I glance over my shoulder.

The gentleman in question is standing about a foot from me.

He has a healthy Irish porter belly and a hurt expression on his face.

"Mammy," I hiss. "You'd be surprised how audible you are. Would you not be a bit more careful? That guy definitely heard you."

"Well it's just up to now I thought you were fat," said the aged parent airily and no less noisily. "But compared to him you're really quite thin. You should be thanking me. I'm trying to improve your self image."