The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Thursday, April 08, 2010

sherlock holmes and the boulders of bollocks

Sherlock Holmes and Watson picked their way along the twisting rock strewn trail.
On either side of them the sheer sides of the valley formed an unscaleable wall.
Abruptly a rumbling sound issued from above.
"Boulders Holmes," shouted Watson warningly.
"There's no need to take that tone," said Holmes a bit miffed. "All I was saying was that Judge Balthasar Garzon has been using the Spanish courts to pursue his own communist agendas. In recent years he has issued frivolous indictments against a series of political figures whose policies he personally opposed. First he went after Augusto Pinochet who had defeated a communist insurgency in Chile. His attempt to extradite Pinochet from Britain to Spain during a State visit was a thundering disgrace. It was in fact nothing less than a blatent hijacking of the entire European legal system. In truth Pinochet's defence of Chilean independence against a communist insurgency was far less violent and infinitely less murderous than the domestic policies of any African or Asian dictator of the last fifty years you care to name. Pinochet's commitment to democracy was more real than any African or Asian despot's. Remember Pinochet actually stood aside and allowed democratic elections to take place in Chile having been given an express guarantee by various political rivals that there would be no attempts to incriminate him in his old age. None of the great communist freedom fighters of Africa and Asia ever could quite bring themselves to do the same. But Pinochet did it. And Alberto Fujimori did it in Peru. And both of them ended up on trial as senior citizens facing charges from creeping leftist usurpers of democracy who had themselves spent the 1980's trying to hand their countries over to Soviet Russia. Africa and Asia never produced a leader like Pinochet or Fujimori. The Africans and Asians got saddled with real deal Soviet backed dictators. Hoo baby. The Mugabes and the Gadaffis, the Al Bashirs and the Mobuto Sese Sekos (someday all dictators will be made this way) all hang in there to the end. They never make way for democracy. Not under any circumstances. So the little Spanish communist Judge Garzon went after Pinochet purely to advance a personalised trivial provincial left wing agenda. Then he went after the Italian Prime Minister Sylvio Berlusconi, for exactly the same reasons. And because his pursuit of Berlusconi was a little bit too invidious even for the Spanish, he sought to cover himself by issuing an indictment for Osama Bin Laden. There's a villain we can all agree on. Except for Michael Moore and the Democratic Party of the United States of course. They still think the Jews and President Bush bombed the twin towers. The attempted Bin Laden indictment could never have been fulfilled. It was a bluff all along. A pequeno Spanish pass defence. To distract public attention from the fact that Judge Garzon was trying to bring down the Prime Minister of a neighbouring country and was feeling a bit embarassed about this meddling in a neighbour's politics blowing up in his face. The Berlusconi debacle didn't stop him though. Last year he issued serial indictments against 37 members of Spain's conservative party El Partido Popolar. It was virtually a coup d'etat by a lone Spanish commie. He nearly got away with it too. But finally Judge Garzon bit off more than he could chew, by endeavouring to put the fifty percent of the Spanish people who supported General Franco during the 1936 Civil War, on trial for war crimes. He began issuing indictments to investigate atrocities committed by the Franco side. That's half the population of Spain on trial right there. The bould man Baltasar! No mention of the communists nailing priests and nuns to the doors of Spanish churches during that same Civil War. Judge Baltasar Garzon holds with the Anthony Beevor analysis of Spanish Communist atrocities. To wit: There were only about 5000 priests and nuns crucified in this way. Hardly worth worrying about. Quaint, no. Judge Garzon wanted to put the winning side in the Spanish Civil War on trial for winning. The Spanish people, lefties and righties, weren't having that. Because such a trial would have meant ending Spanish democracy and reigniting the Spanish Civil War. It's interesting to note that General Franco never entered World War Two even though the British were historic enemies of Spain and looked to be on their uppers. General Franco stayed out of the war even when Hitler appeared to have won it. And in the Civil War, General Franco defeated the Stalinist backed communist murderers who are today lauded by the likes of Judge Garzon as some class of democracy loving freedom fighters. With guns and tanks and planes supplied by Joe Stalin. Some freedom. Some democracy. It was General Franco who kept Spain from being swallowed up by communist Russia. It was General Franco who kept Spain from enduring fifty years of black communist night as happened in Hungary, Poland, Lithuania, Czechoslovakia and all the others. It was General Franco who even in victory never let the communists brutalise Spanish society into a fascist dictatorship like Germany's. That's where fascism came from by the way Watson. When communists tried to shoot their way to power in European countries with Stalins provisions and weapons and atheistic ideology, they gave birth to a societal dynamic which meant only the most ruthless and in most cases the most murderous could wield power. In Germany the communist power grab gave birth to Hitler. In Italy it gave birth to Mussolini who was more moderate than Hitler anyway. I hold with Churchill's assessment of Mussolini, Watson: But for one wrong decision he would have been remembered as the lawgiver of Italy. Anyway, Franco defeated communism without ever becoming a barbarian like the other two. Judge Garzon's attempts to rewrite Spanish history, his attempts to overturn an explicit underwritten guarantee in the Spanish constitution that there would be no retrospective or selective apportionment of guilt for Civil War atrocities, his attempts to once more use the entire legal system as the promulgator of his own political ambitions, all these frivolous hijackings of jurisprudence, have now resulted in Judge Garzon himself facing charges. It was about f--king time."
"No, no, no," roared Watson. "I mean the boulders are falling on us."
"Sedimentary my dear Watson," replied Holmes unperturbed.
Moments later both were buried in the avalanche.

Moral: Don't talk. Run.


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