The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, April 10, 2010

sherlock holmes and the parvenus of vomit

Sherlock Holmes looked at the craven guilt ridden figure sitting behind the Managers desk at the Johnston Press, owners of the Leinster Leader.
Inspector Lestrade stood with Watson to the rear of Holmes.
Watson wore a faint look of distaste on his normally good natured buffery face.
Lestrade was itching to put the handcuffs on.
"Just a moment Inspector," said Holmes grimly.
"Awright 'Olmes," murmured the Inspector.
Holmes stared down at the seated figure.
"One question has been troubling me," he said softly.
The seated one could not meet his gaze.
"Why did you fire Heelers?" rapped out Holmes. "I mean are you a bunch of complete gobshites or what?"
The seated figure spoke for the first time.
"Cor blimey," he said miserably.
Since no other answer was forthcoming, Holmes almost reluctantly signalled to Lestrade who stepped forward smartly with the handcuffs and led John Fry from the room.
Holmes and Watson were left alone.
"There's one question that's been troubling me too Holmes," said Watson.
"Fire ahead," nodded Holmes.
"Well what was the motivation of the Johnston Press for all the staff they let go?" wondered Watson. "I don't just mean Heelers. I mean all the ones after Heelers. The advertising staff who had brought in the only revenue the Leinster Leader was making. The printer who had been with the company for fifty years that they fired with a few hours notice. How could they have thought this was a sensible way to run a newspaper? How could they have thought they'd get away with it?"
Holmes stared from the window at the night sky of London.
His face was dark.
"Look at it from the Johnston Press point of view," he intoned slowly. "They had paid 138 million dollars for a newspaper that on a good day might generate a million a year. They had one choice. Wait a hundred and thirty eight years to make their investment back, or start firing people and hiring cheaper ones. You see Watson, this is what happens when you let non Christian people run big businesses. They take over companies they know nothing about, using money leant to them by atheistic idiot free masonic infiltrated banks who have themselves all just gone bust. And hell follows with them."

Motto: Being pro business or conservative should not mean allowing banks or stock exchange quoted companies or free masons to impoverish the citizenry. Being pro business means advocating a system whereby ordinary people are encouraged to set up businesses, are not forced to pay VAT, and are not constantly kicked on the shins with corporation tax and all sorts of restrictive regulations which drive them into penury. Anyone running a corner shop or a farm is the highest patriot in the land because they produce real goods, services, and employment for the community. We've got to start respecting the people who genuinely create wealth, social cohesion, opportunity and quality of life. Not the big money scruff whose sole speciality is the art of the deal that produces nothing. The core values of our culture are upheld by the small businessman. Remember Michael O'Leary. He was a corner shop manager. That's what he did before he turned Ryanair into the only airline on earth that's doing any business. It's cornershop values that can save our economies. Those people work for a living. (NB: I have never flown Ryaniar because they're rude.) We need to recognise the self reliant vision for our countries. We need to repudiate the bail outs of Anglo Irish Bank along with those of Allied Irish Bank and Bank Of Ireland. Ordinary people should not be compelled to pay the gambling losses of endemically corrupted corporations. No banker or stock exchange company chief should be paid more than ten grand a year. They've gone bust. Small business people will tell you, when the business isn't generating money, the boss doesn't draw a salary. So being pro business or conservative doesn't mean caving in to these corporate con artists of the financial sector and the stock exchange. Similarly being socialist should not mean caving in to extortionate trade unions in extracting pay rises for nursies, teachers, cops and uncivil servants, pay rises that threaten the entire economy as has happened in Ireland and Italy, pay rises that are obtained at the expense of everyone in the country who doesn't happen to work for the State. Honorable socialists and honorable conservatives, ie those who are willing to give something for their countries rather than kleptocratise them, need to start going to church, then get together and find out what the hell it is we have in common. There is no other hope.


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