The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Friday, December 23, 2011

the monica leech laugh in

God summons Barack Obama, President Putin of Russia and Archbishop Diarmuid Martin for a conference in heaven.
"I've called you here," says God, "because you are the three most influential people in existence. I want you to bring a message to humanity. In a day's time I am going to destroy the planet earth and all who live on it."
The three messengers are whisked back to their respective countries in the blink of an eye.
Barack summons Congress for an emergency session.
"I have good news and bad news," announces Barack in his classic declamatory tones. "The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that he is going to destroy the world tomorrow."
Mr Putin for his part immediately orders top Russian officials to the Kremlin.
"Gentlemen, I have two items of very bad news," intones Mr Putin grimly. "The first is that God exists. The second is that he is going to destroy the world tomorrow."
On his return to Ireland, Archbishop Diarmuid Martin initiates an emergency convocation of Bishops at Maynooth with the Pope and the College of Cardinals sitting in on video link from Rome.
"I have two pieces of good news," proclaims Archbishop Diarmuid Martin. "Firstly, I am one of the three most important people on earth. Secondly, you're all fired."


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