The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

My Photo
Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Friday, May 03, 2013

amanda knox meets with her publisher to discuss sales of her How To Murder Your Flatmate book

"Ah good morning Amanda. Sit down. Well the book isn't selling as well as we'd hoped. A sizeable portion of the general public still turn their noses up at you. But it's doing okay. You've gotta play up the innocence angle more, Amanda. Learn to say it like you mean it. If you could just pretend you believe you're innocent yourself or something. People are looking at you knowing full well you slaughtered that girl in order to give yourself an itch in your crotch. Even Barbara Walters at the bankrupt viewerless ABC television network who is an amoral cretin, knows you did it. She knew even as she fawned on you. That's our problem basically. There are still a lot of people out there who unlike Barbara Walters are unwilling to see you profit from your satanic execution of a young girl. Er. What are you doing? Amanda! Hey. What the... What are you doing with that knife? No. Wait. But why me? Why meeeeeeee? I've helped you to profit from your satanic murder of an innocent girl. No Amanda you can't. You mustn't. I never did anything to hurt you. I've helped you to turn murder into a nice little earner. I made you a cup of coffee. Nooooo Amandaaaaa. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease. Mercieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.  Amandaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhh."


Post a Comment

<< Home