The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Sunday, August 30, 2015

sherlock holmes at the reichenbach balls

"Moriarty!" exclaimed Sherlock Holmes.
Judge Michael Moriarty of the Irish High Court turned slowly.
"How did you know Holmes?" he breathed.
Holmes smiled.
"It was simple really," he intoned cheerily. "Your ruling in the High Court that Sean Fitzpatrick could not be tried for his crime of impoverishing a nation on behalf of the IRA, was clearly evidence of your own complicity in the IRA's subversion of the judiciary of the Republic of Ireland. For if Sean Fitzpatrick cannot be tried because he is so blatently guilty, no IRA member, no member of any criminal combine, and indeed no practitioner of any crime at all, could be tried in the courts system of the Republic of Ireland. Therefore the process whereby the IRA is currently turning every town and village and city in Ireland into a gangland fiefdom partitioned with Chinese Triads, Cosa Nostra, Russian mafias, Nigerian devil worship rings, and of course those lovable peace loving Muslim gangs which are Al Qaeda, that process I say, could never even be commented on, let alone resisted or repelled. If your ruling in favour of Sean Fitzpatrick is allowed to stand as law Moriarty, then there is no law."
"Gee yeah," said Judge Michael Moriarty.
"Take him away Lestrade," continued Holmes brusquely, "and give him a good root in the bawls while you're doing it."
"Orl roight you, come along now," said Lestrade snapping on the cuffs and hustling Judge Michael Moriarty away.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's "vunchhhhhh"?

9:30 PM  
Blogger heelers said...

It's the sound of a good root in the bawls.

9:31 PM  

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