The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Monday, June 20, 2016

come back allannis morissette all is forgiven

Flicking through the channels on the sexevision.
I land on a music channel.
Allannis Morissette is singing a new version of one of her nearly good songs.
The song has been retitled Isn't It Islamic.
The new version goes:

"Little Ahmed
Build a clock bomb for school
President Obama
Said the clock bomb was cool
And as they shook hands
In the White House Rose Room
Little Ahmed
Pushed the detonator down
And isn't it Islamic
Dontchya think
It's like Jiha-a-a-a-a-d
In the Caliphate
It's a free ride
To Islamic State
It's a suicide vest
On your wedding cake
But who would have thought it matters
Pope Francis
Collapsed immigration law
Chancellor Merkel
Liked what she saw
And as the doors of Europe
Were flung open wide
Two hundred million Jihadis
Stepped inside
And isn't it Islamic
Dontchya think
It's like a plane hijacking
When you're already late
It's when your beard won't grow
In the Caliphate
It's the Sharia law
You just had to break
But who would have thought it matters
Tim Cooke 
Wouldn't help the FBI
Unlock a Jihadi's Apple phone
He didn't want to pry
And as the Jihadis
Killed fifty more at Orlando
Tim Cooke CEO of Apple Computers said
Gee guys how was I supposed to know
And isn't it Islamic
Dontchya think
It's like giveaway coffee
During Ramadan
It's a verse about peace
In the holy Quran
It's an all expenses paid trip
To the Islamic Republic of Iran
But who would have thought it matters
Life has a funny way
Of giving you a root in the bawls
And life has a funny way
Of giving you a kick in the Town Halls
And life has a funny way
Of giving you a punch in the Family Jewels
And life has a funny way
Of giving you a thump in the testy cules
Yap dapp dappa dap dap

I quite like this song.

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