unofficial out takes footage from the Heelers interview with former Irish President Mary McAleese

(The footage has shown up on the internet after it is believed mischievious tech crew left microphones running when the participants believed the interview was over.)

Mary McAleese: "So James. Why are you still single?"

James Healy: "Very small town of you Mrs McAleese. You're more prurient than your granny."

Mary McAleese: "Oh come on. Answer the question."

James Healy: "Stop contriving imaginary titrations of people's sexualities. You're killing people. You've created transgenderism. You have kids subjecting themselves to mutilating sex change operations that don't work. This is your work Mrs McAleese. You bear a heavy burden of guilt. Listen to me. There are three vocations which have always been espoused by the ancient Church. Married life, consecrated religious life and single life in the world. Each is equally valid, equally splendid, equally glorious. Everybody should be happy with who they are as they are as God made them to be."

Mary McAleese: "I'm not buying it. Look pretend I'm an attractive woman and you want to ask me out. What happens next?"

James Healy: "Um, Mrs McAleese, I don't know if we should be having this conversation."

Mary McAleese: "Just pretend. Ask me out. You don't have to mean it. Oh come on., I'm not trying to seduce you. Do you want me to seduce you? Is that what you're trying to tell me? Get on with it for heaven's sake. Don't be such a girl's blouse. Ask me out. Make your best move. Show me how it's done."

James Healy: "Okay. I, er, walk up and I say: Mrs MacAleese, nerdle nerdle ner nerr, I want to take you to a gay bar. Nerdle ner nerrrrr. I want to take you to a gay bar. Let me take you to a gay bar. Gay bar. Gay bar. Gay bar. Girl, nerdle ner ner,  I wanna take you to a gay bar, nerdle ner nerr, gay bar, bar, gay bar.  Whiplash. We can spend all your money. Whiplash sound. I bet you've got lots of money. We can spend all your money. At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar. Ner ner ner ner nerdle ner."

Mary McAleese: "I think I see the problem here."

James Healy: "You think they think I'm out to get their money?"

Mary McAleese: "Er... no... not exactly."

James Healy: "The bit where I do the guitar nerdles? Making the whiplash sound?"

Mary McAleese: "No that's not the issue. But you're getting closer."