valorous idylls chapter 26

Return Of The Man With No Bobble Hat

It is time to go meet my public.

I will venture down Main Street.

I perambulate wobblily.

Grit your teeth.

You can walk.

Gotta get back in the saddle.

Or at least back in the saddlery, arf arf, Berneys Saddlery, to which I take a detour half way down the hill to buy a classic peaked cap from my cousin Jamie.

Helpful hint: If purchasing at the saddlery, always look for my cousin Thomas. He's the one who gives discounts. I found this out the hard way.

On we go.

Arriving at the bookshop resplendent in cap, I am somewhat nonplussed to be greeted by red faced staff whose mouths keep twitching.

What on earth is wrong with these people?

"It's okay," I tell them. "You can laugh."

There is a general outpouring.

The new cap notwithstanding, I am indeed something of a picture with the bright green plastic cane I found in a cupboard, an old scarf from the same cupboard, a coat thrown over my shoulders because I can't wear one properly at the moment, and Lefty The Arm held high like the creature from The Mummy.

"I wish I was tough," I declaim. "You know like the Pet Shop Boys. Then you wouldn't laugh at me. Nobody messes with the Pet Shop Boys. I'm going out to buy a bobble hat. Then you'll all respect me. Nobody messes with a man in a bobble hat. Men in bobble hats are tough. They have to be. Because they're wearing bobble hats."

Personally I find this spiel highly amusing.

The staff at the bookshop for their part begin to look at me with the firstlings of concern.