The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Sunday, October 16, 2011

what's at stake

Anti Catholic media groups, namely Independent Newspapers, the Irish Times and RTE have been telling the Irish people that the lifelong atheistic abortionist Maoist Communist anti Catholic Michael D Higgins is the front runner in our country's Presidential race.
I believe their opinion polls have been frankly faked.
In their desperation to sabotage the political campaigns of the Christian Dana Rosemary Scallon and the non establishment candidate Martin McGuinness, they are perpetrating the most ridiculous lies.
Their initial poll which had Michael D Higgins just three points clear of Martin McGuinness would in any case be a statistical dead heat if you believed even for a moment that the pollsters hadn't exaggerated Michael D Higgins' support by a factor of ten percent.
Let me put aside my distaste for Michael D Higgins' despicable moral values.
Let me forget for a moment his unrepentant lifetime spent trying to secure the victory of Atheistic Communism in Ireland and worldwide.
Let me speak solely to his Presidentiality, ie how he looks.
He just doesn't look like he's going to win.
He already looks like a beaten man.
Resentful, washed out, and ever sneering.
Ironic, eh?
After a lifetime of hatred for the beautiful truths of Christianity, he stands before us seeking the votes of Christians for the highest office in the land.
If I know anything about politcs, there is no way the Irish people will vote for him.
He will get a bare ten percent of the vote.
I say more.
If Michael D Higgins is elected President of the Republic of Ireland, I will make a personal donation of ten thousand dollars to a charity to be chosen by the readers of the Heelers Diaries.
And you know what else folks.
I'm never wrong.


Footnote 1: A few years ago Heelers bet several thousand dollars on John McCain to win the American Presidency. Last year he bet a similar amount on ephin David Cameron to win the British general election with a clear outright majority. When Heelers says he is never wrong, he means it in the egomaniacal megalomaniac blofeldian sense of that term. Sort of like Zoltar in Battle Of The Planets making his last minute getaway in an escape pod as yet another of his robotic giant octopusses comes within an ace of destroying the earth for the fiftieth week in a row, and shouting back at his enemies: "Nyah ha ha G-Force. I have defied you again. Soon I will destroy you all."
Footnote 2: Why didn't Zoltar ever take a week off and then come back the following week with TWO giant octopusses? Or how about a month off and then attacking the earth with four octopusses?
Footnote 3: Damned be he who first cries octopie.
Footnote 4: Why didn't G-Force just laugh in Zoltar's face when he was making his weekly getways? Why didn't Mark shout after him: "We've just beaten you for the fiftieth week in a row you f--ken gobbaloon."


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