The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Thursday, June 21, 2012

twilight of the gods

Morning in the Irish parliament.
Newly washed swastikas flutter redly.
The Eagle Has Landed music plays softly on the public address system.
Reichsminister Alan Shatter strolls along the corridor towards the Cabinet Room.
This is a big day for him.
The Fuhrer himself wishes to consult about certain matters nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
Herr Shatter enters the room and finds Herr Ruairi Quinn sitting at the long table with Finanzminister Michael Von Noonan and other lesser Nazis. (Herrless Ruairi Quinn surely? - Ed note)
All are wearing the regulation blue shirts of Ireland's Nazi Fine Gael Party.
NB: This is not a joke.
Fine Gael is the only party of government in Western Europe which actually once openly styled itself a fascist party.
Blue shirts were the order of the day in those high old times of 1935.
Le plus se change le plus se reste meme.
You can take the man out of the blue shirt but you can't take the blue shirt out of the man.
Etc etc.
Well you know what I mean.
Another little known fact is that in recent months Fine Gael has made German the official language of the Republic of Ireland.
Not real German.
The sort of German that the Nazis once spoke in Warlord Comic.
Hilarious no.
Reichsminister Alan Shatter sits with the other Nazis.
The door opens behind him.
The Fuhrer himself, Enda Kenny enters.
Enda Kenny is a weak vacuous vapid vascillatory hairstyle of a man.
Even for the purposes of biting political satire he makes a fairly pathetic Fuhrer.
But that is what he is.
"Heil myself," he exclaims in homage to Mel Brooks, then sits and calls the meeting to order.
The work of the day begins.
"Mein Fuhrer," announces Reichsminister Alan Shatter importantly opening his plain brown folder. "Today I wish to propose a Final Solution to the Catholic Problem."


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