The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Friday, June 15, 2012

goutman returns

The super hero known as Goutman is sitting alone at the kitchen table in the Chateau De Healy quaffing a coffee.
He is studying a letter from the overpaid underworked undead vampires in Ireland's tax collection authorities.
The letter informs him that he is liable to a 160 Euro charge for a licence fee for his television.
The Irish have to pay this tax annually for the privilege of owning a television.
The money is used to finance Ireland's Stalinist anti Catholic broadcaster which styles itself RTE.
Goutman's face is a study.
He doesn't own a television.
"So RTE wants me to contribute to their funds for framing Catholic priests for child rape," I muse. "RTE wants me to help pay the libel award against Aoife Kavanagh and sundry other RTE bigots after they got caught framing a Catholic priest for child rape. RTE wants me to contribute towards the million dollar salaries, bonuses and pension funds, of unwatchable talentless anodynely leftist atheistic anti Catholic scruff like Pat Kenny, Miriam O'Callaghan et al (particularly Al, I hate him) or the salaries and bonuses and pension funds of talentless amoral Fianna Fail appointed presenters like Ryan Tubridy, Diggy Duigan and so on. (Particularly And So On. He's the worst of the lot.) And RTE and the Irish government think I'm going to fund their ongoing fifty year kulturkampf against the Catholic Church. Arsehollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllles!"
Goutman's cloak flaps over the camera.
And when the cloak vanishes, you are left gentle readers staring at an empty kitchen.
The door is banging loose and a cold night wind gusting from the garden, rattles the crockery.
Where has goutman gone?
What is his mission?
Do you care?


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