The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Monday, June 18, 2012

goutman lives

A widow woman crying into her gruel.
Unfed children sitting at the table with her staring vacantly into space.
"What am I going to do?" she sobs. "I can't afford a TV. How are my children going to learn to commit sex and violence? Waaaaah. Boo hoo hoo."
Her crying is halted by the sound of the kitchen door banging open.
She looks up.
Framed in the doorway is the superhero known as Goutman.
Under his left arm he clutches a Philips 52 inch television complete with sound system.
"Here," he says thrusting the television at her. "I can't abide these things myself. And if you ask me by owning one and paying the Irish government's Stalinist licence fee, you're going to be financing a satanic Marxian atheistic culture war against the Catholic Church while encouraging our governmental idiots to continue living the high life without ever sorting out the inherent structural injustices of funding an anti Catholic television station like RTE through compulsory taxation on the citizenry, as this means that RTE has a near limitless revenue stream regardless of whether any of us watch it, despise it, excoriate it, or not. But here."
The widow woman's eyes shine with joy.
"Oh Goutman," she sighs. "Oh Goutman how will you live without a TV?"
But he was already gone.


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