The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Friday, August 10, 2012

triumph of a man called drugs i mean horse

Cian O'Connor has won a bronze medal in the Olympic games.
His placement on the Irish team was carried out surreptitiously.
That is to say no one knew he was on the team and there was scant newspaper reportage of his presence with the Irish squad prior to the Olympics.
By scant I mean none.
Apparently he had been named as some sort of Second Substitute Once Removed at a backroom meeting of the Irish Equestrian organisation Horse Sport Ireland which is headed up by his corporate sponsor Tony O'Reilly's wife Miss Stavros Niarchos. (Christina Goulandris surely? - Ed note)
I kid you not.
So Horse Sport Ireland (owned by Tony O'Reilly's wife) and Independent Newspapers (owned by Tony O'Reilly) colluded to keep the presence of Cian O'Connor (Tony O'Reilly's protege) on the Irish equestrian team at the Olympics, secret from the general public until ye aforementioned Olympics were well underway.
Hilarious no.
The reason for all the secrecy about Cian O'Connor's disgraceful surreptitious sideways nomination to the Irish Olympic Squad is that in the past Cian O'Connor's horses have had a distinct propensity for testing positive for illegal drugs during international competitions.
Indeed this is not the first Olympic medal that Cian O'Connor's drug addict horses have won.
Eight years ago he won a gold medal at the Athens Olympics which was then stripped from him after his horse tested positive for various narcotic substances.
As per usual Cian O'Connor claimed to have had no knowledge that his horses were using illegal drugs.
"Not my fault Guv if my horse is a Junkie," he cried. "Not my fault if my horse slips off at night into the inner city to meet his candy man. Not my fault if my horse keeps showing up for international competitions high as a kite. Am I my horse's keeper?"
And so on.
The finding of banned substances in Cian O'Connor's horses at the Olympics and elsewhere was only the beginning of a series of extraordinary events.
First a drug sample from Cian O'Connor's horse was hijacked when a motorcycle courier was supposedly intercepted by unidentified bandits.
Then records of a previous drug infraction relating to another of Cian O'Connor's horses were stolen in a supposed burglary at the offices of Horse Sport Ireland the official oversight body for the equestrian industry in Ireland. (Yes the one headed up by Tony O'Reilly's wife Cristina Goulandris. Yawn.)
Then Jennifer Kurten, in my opinion an honest equestrian competitor, announced that she would not accept a place on any Irish team which featured Cian O'Connor.
A dope sample was immediately planted in one of her horses by a person or persons unknown.
I mean, my assessment of the facts is that the dope sample was planted there.
I am suggesting that the likelihood that she was guilty of doping is negligible, and that the coincidence of a doping allegation emerging against her immediately after her comments re Cian O'Connor is egregious and foul and stinks to high heaven.
Actually it stinks to high O'Reillys.
It was a thoroughly ridiculous thoroughly malign attempt to ruin the reputation of a someone whose only crime was to put her head above the parapet and call for a modicum of integrity in the selection of Irish Olympic teams.
Backwards boggles the mind.
There are very few people in Ireland with the organisational capacity to set up the framing of Jennifer Kurten.
Cian O'Connor, as already mentioned in a couple of my more oblique asides (you may hardly have noticed them) is a protege of media baron Tony O'Reilly who, among other things, buys his horses for him.
Tony O'Reilly is the proprietor of the bankrupt anti Catholic newspaper group which styles itself Independent Newspapers.
(Blah, blah, blah, Heelers. - Ed note)
The dogs on the street thought that Tony O'Reilly's connections had arranged for the theft of Cian O'Connor's various horses' various positive drug samples via various staged courier hijackings and various staged break ins at the premises of Horse Sport Ireland.
I personally entertain no doubts that Jennifer Kurten was framed.
We should additionally clarify (or repeat) that Tony O'Reilly's wife Miss Cristina Goulandris is head of the Irish equestrian body which styles itself Horse Sport Ireland, the same organisation which inserted Cian O'Connor on this year's Olympic squad as a Second Substitute Once Removed Throw A Cat Over Your Shoulder In A Graveyard At Midnight Shouting Warts Go Away And You'll End Up On The Irish Team.
You heard me.
Tony O'Reilly's Greek trophy wife is head of Horse Sport Ireland.
(We heard you the first time. - Ed note)
Christina Goulandris in charge of Irish equestrianism.
I ask you.
You might as well let Don King run the show, although I'm reliably informed that Cristina Goulandris has never yet stomped someone to death as Don King did to Sam Garret.
So Cian O'Connor has another Olympic medal.
I wonder how long they'll let him keep this one.
And his horses still haven't faced charges over any of the drugs they've been snorting.
Ho hum.
It's not exactly National Velvet, is it.


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