The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Sunday, December 06, 2015

a sledgehammer runs through it

(being a short satire on the reporting style of RTE Ireland's Bolshevick IRA infiltrated state run monopoly television and radio broadcaster)

"I'm Maisie Baines reporting live from a field in Leitrim. The rain is falling. The rain is falling incessantly. It's, it's, it's... torrential. Oh it must be climate change. It may seem indistinguishable from every other Irish winter in the past five thousand years but to me it looks like climate change. It must be climate change. I just sort of sense it. The rain, the rain. It's falling mainly, er, on the plain. This is climate change for sure. I have a feeling in my water. The rain is falling on the houses. It's getting on everything. There's, there's puddles everywhere. Oh the humanity. It's time to sovietise the world so that we can control the rain and prevent more climate change. Oh lumme. I'm wet;"

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