The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Sunday, December 13, 2015

the eagle has landed i mean written a book of short stories

"You promised you were going to review Brian Byrne's latest book of short stories?" said my cousin Yankee Joe over tiffin.
The mighty Heelers groaned like a Heffalump in pain but remained silent.
"I bet you didn't even read it," persisted the Yank.
"I read it alright," sez me with a trace of bitterness.
"So why no review?" quoth he.
I sighed deeply.
"Well this is embarassing," I explained, "but I kind of liked it."
"Aw Heelers give credit where it's due," said the cousin who is a bit of a fan of the above mentioned scribe. "If you liked it you gotta review it."
"You know I've spent years trying to alert humanity to two threats," I mused as if he hadn't spoken, "the sheer awfulness of Brian Byrne's writing and the existential menace from international Jihad. Now I've lost one of the props of my existence. I mean what happens if I read the Quran and start liking the Prophet Muhammed too? Where will it all end!"
"You've got to hand it to him," said the Yank, "he's really put Kilcullen on the map with his website and he's a master of all the social media tools. Facebook, Twitter and so on. He was ahead of everyone else with those."
"The Prophet Muhammed has a Kilcullen website?" exclaimed me.
"Brian Byrne," said the cousin.
"Ah," sez me.
"I wonder why he writes his books under the pseudonym William Trapman," pondered the Yank.
"Von Trapman I think you'll find," sez me serenely.


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