The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

the meaning of ********

Afternoon at the Tearman eatery, recently renamed the Cafe Des Sexy Krauts.
Terence O'Borkan sees me entering and calls out from a corner table.
"What did you think of the American elections James?"
Terence is a liberal left wing atheistic abortionist against the bomb.
I am pleased and somewhat surprised that he would greet me in friendly terms.
Our last discussion eight years ago in Kilcullen Theatre about American foreign policy, did not end well.
My salient argument at the time had been: "You take all your opinions from the Irish Times. The Irish Times spent the Cold War rooting for the Russians and has moved seamlessly from that twisted posture to advocating the collapse of our borders to expansionist Islam. They are burying our culture and our freedoms in a sea of gangland Jihad IRA crudd. For heaven's sake man, think for yourself. Just once. About something."
His most seditious sallies had run:
"According to you the Americans and the Israelis are right about everything. You haven't a clue about geo politics or political analysis. Your knee jerk racist views are completely out of touch with modern thinking. If ever there was someone who needed to read the Irish Times, it's you."
Now that's an insult.
The part about the Irish Times I mean.
Today it looks as if we're both happy to let bygones be bygones.
"You know," I say in great earnestness, "I honestly don't think Mr Trump won. Rightly or wrongly, I think it's a fix. And I never believed Mr Trump was rich. His earnings such as they are, are based on near limitless and repeated billion dollar borrowings, given in dubious circumstances by banks to which he already has defaulted serially on previous billion dollar loans. And I think his business involvement with the Cosa Nostra Mafia is indisputable. Then there's the character issues, the verbal inconsistencies, the insults, I mean the ones he really said (not the ones about Senator John McCain or Megyn Whatshername) but the ones he really said are just awful. So I guess I'm saying I'm about as concerned as I could be about his gaining the Presidency of the United States. On the other hand Terence, it has been fun seeing you Irish Times types wandering around like sick parrots these past few weeks, as if the sky had just fallen on you or was about to fall. Oh the humanity. Call the Feds Ma Kettle. And so on. I suppose even the apocalypse has its bright side."
"Heelers," says Terence, "you're a bit of a *******."

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