The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Monday, March 27, 2017

when the joke needs an explanation it is not a good joke

If Heelers Was An Advertising Executive...

We see a rather attractive girl strolling down a Dublin street.
She's not film star gorgeous but more natural and somehow more entrancing.
She's got a certain je ne sais le foutre.
She's a bit like Ridey MacRide the Ride from the Cafe Noto near Stephens Green.
A man rushes up.
His name is Roger.
He's a bit like me.
He sees the girl, struggles briefly with a bout of heterosexual panic, then hangs a right over to an ancient lady flower seller who is lurking atmospherically at the edge of the street.
The flower seller says in rich Dublinese: "Do ye want flowers Luv?"
The man suppresses the urge to say: "No, I want brain surgery you ----ing Dublin ----."
Instead he bumbles a yes, bumbles for money, and bumbles away girlwards with the flowers.
He thrusts the flowers at her.
She laughs adorably.
A coolo British voice ejaculates smoothly from nowhere:
"When a man you've met many times before suddenly buys you flowers, that's F---ing Stupid. She's wearing F---ing Stupid and everybody loves her. F---ing Stupid, the new all over body spray from Snurdlebaums."

Explanation for the joke: The joke is based on an old ad for Impulse body spray which had the tag line - When a man you've never met before suddenly buys you flowers, that's Impulse. When viewed in this context it is actually quite funny. The above ad for F---ing Stupid is also interesting in that it contains an improbable number of euphemisms for gdoinking.


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