The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Monday, March 29, 2010

our television listings

(A television station run by liberal anti Catholic atheists but financed through compulsory taxation on the Catholic citizenry who are themselves prevented from setting up their own television stations by Stalinist government imposed regulations. The wheel is rigged and it's the only game in town.)

1.25. Home And Away. Wild life programme.
1.55 Neighbours. Sociological study of Australians.
2.20 Eastenders. Drekk.
3..00 Fair City. Tack.
3.30 Desperate Houses. Tacky Drekk.
4.00 The Afternoon Show. Hags discuss waxing their legs.
5.40 Nuacht. Your guess is as good as mine.
6.00 The Angelus. Medieval drama. In tonight's episode Quasimodo, played by Irish Times journalist Patsy McGarry decides to form an alliance with Archbishop Diarmuid Martin and John Cooney of Independent Newspapers to undermine the Catholic Church.
6.01 News. Read by Karl Marx.
7.00 Nationwide. No one watches this.
7.30 Cloch Le Carn. Bollocks le the lot of them.
8.00 Eastenders. Events in the Queen Vic reach a climax when the entire cast and crew have Christian conversions and realise this programme and this television station is pure drekkkkkkk.
8.30 At Your Service. Ah RTE, just stop.
9.00 News. Read by Chairman Mao.
9.35 The Frontline. Religious programme featuring self adulation by Pat Kenny.
11.05 A Little Bit Showband. Music programme for masochists. Makes Eastenders look almost entertaining.
11.35 News. Read by Ho Chi Minh.
11.40 Mad Men. I don't care enough about this programme to wittily satirise it.
12.40 Eco Eye. Duncan Stewart celebrates fictional Green Party perspectives on reality. Pity the Greens aren't as fictional as that fake climate change scare they so recently engineered. And if the delusional Greens are getting their own television programmes why not have programmes dedicated to the lies told by pharmaceutical companies. You know. The ones who created the fake swine flu epidemic.
1.10 The Late Late Show. Repeat of programme from last week which no one ever watches. For all any of us knows they've been repeating the same one for the past six months. Presenter Ryan Tubridy wallows in his own unctuousness, secure in the knowledge that having been born into a dynastic kleptocratic Fianna Fail family, he is entitled to own perennial million dollar salaries in television and radio. Show me the way to the vomitorium. I think I'm going to be blecchhhhhhhhh.


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