The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Friday, June 22, 2012

all shite on the western front

Morning cabinet meeting in the Fuhrer bunker at the Irish parliament.
Top Nazis are seated around a long table with the Fuhrer himself Enda Kenny at its head, playing on a swivel chair.
Reichscancellor Ruairi Quinn is plushbottomedly addressing the gathered Nazis.
"I am happy to report zat vee haff successfully purchased my brother's bankrupt bank for the bargain basement fee of ten thousand million dollars of public money," says the Reichscancellor. "Ziss purchase of ze vorthless Allied Irish Bank means zat my brother Lochlainn can continue to live in the style to which vee Quinns haff become accustomed. For a start he vill be able to keep his vineyard. Just like zat ozzer thieving gypsy tax evading stealer of millions from gangster banks basta-d Mick Wallace. Sieg Heil."
"Vot does vorthless mean?" whispers Fuhrer Enda Kenny to Gestapo Chief Alan Shatter.
"Worthless," explains Herr Shatter.
"Ah," says the Fuhrer.
Feeling his audience attention wandering, Herrless Quinn clears his thoat.
"Ahem," he says. "As Reichscancellor it is also my pleasure to inform ze meeting zat I have cancelled Catholic Church control of Secondary Schools in Irelands. Now zey belong to ussssss. And soon Mein Fuhrer, very soon, ze whole vorld vill be oursssssssssssssssssssssssss."


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