The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Thursday, July 05, 2012

they use dark forces

Coffee with Yankee Joe.
"Heelers," quoth he. "Tell me the real reason you stopped seeing Amal. And I don't want to hear any of that Al Qaeda secret agent stuff. Tell me for real. What happened?"
"I thought the bitch was trying to curse me," replied Ireland's greatest living poet serenely.
"You mean you thought you heard her say F--k off under her breath?" quoth he.
"No," sez me, "I mean I thought she was trying to invoke evil spirits with a view to harming my chances of getting my old job back at the Leinster Leader."
Yankee Joe goggled at the syllogogism.
(What's a syllogogism? - Ed note)
(Dunno. - Heelers note)
"What made you think she was trying to do that?"
"We were sitting there and she was talking about the devil and evil spirits and exorcisms. She knew well I was interested in this stuff. But the way she was talking about it was weird. It was as though she was trying to fix some notion in my head. And she'd told me that in Morocco about 75 percent of families have some experience of demonic possession. And I thought she was looking at me kind of funny. So I terminated the conversation and never saw her again."
"You didn't."
"I did. I like to let the devil worshippers wonder if I'm after them. I have no interest at all in wondering if they're after me."
Yankee Joe allowed himself a sigh.
"Heelers. Congratulations. I didn't think you could do it. But you've just reached a whole new level of paranoia. Paranoid delusionalism when you include the bit about getting your old job back."
"Thank you. I try."

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