The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

to a wild rabbit

(prince of the fields)

words are mine
no words take from his eyes
the breeze blown beauty of the woodlands
nor the silver scented sight of evening glories

manhood mine
a prince of the fields is he
even in the terror of flight
a strange high ecstasy
spirits to delight

age is mine
he will not grow old
nor fear the passing of his world
the lure of yellow gold
the bitterness of friends becoming foes

knight hospitalier

Debating with a supposedly dying man on the wards of Naas hospital about the existence of God.
Ah, I have a talent.
Count your blessings if you're ever in hospital bold readers.
Whatever you're going through, say to yourself: "It could be worse. I could be getting a visit from James."
So here we are.
Brinsksley sits up in bed and proclaims a litany of stuff along the lines of the Bible containing geographical errors, historical inaccuracies, unrealistic depictions of the Romans, photoshopped battle scenes, blah, blah, blah.
I earnestly endeavour to refute each point.
It's intense enough and honest enough the way we argue.
The nurses and other patients are shooting me warning looks but Brinksley doesn't seem to mind.
On we go.
"There is no heaven and there's no hell," says Brinksley, "Graham Norton put it best when he said that where we are now, is hell. There's no need for any other."
This was too much for me.
"You're quoting the great theologian Graham Norton," I cried. "I mean what a rip off.Graham has pulled off the most monstrous con on the English for years. He has them convinced he's a homosexual so of course the Brits give him a prime time television show. That's how careers are handed out at the BBC. But the joke is on them. The Brits don't understand the Cork accent. What they don't realise is that in County Cork, everyone talks like that. Graham Norton is in fact the most macho man in County Cork. He's the Arnold Schwarzeneggar of Cork."
Brinksley waited for me to finish.
Then he said: "I think your lord is a ****."
I lowered my head into my hands.
"I've shocked you, haven't I?" said Brinksley.
I groaned.
"No, no, no," I said. "It's just that I've called him the same thing and by your standards I probably didn't have much excuse."

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

mystic moment

A gentleman styled Stephen Fry has appeared on an Irish chat show hosted by one Gay Byrne.
During his interview Stephen Fry told Gay Byrne that he didn't believe in God.
He then went on to excoriate God apparently for failing to reach the same production values in creating the universe as Stephen Fry reached with his Jeeves And Wooster television series.
Go easy on Stephen Fry gentle travellers.
Whenever I see Gay Byrne, I get a bit annoyed with God too.