Debating with a supposedly dying man on the wards of Naas hospital about the existence of God.
Ah, I have a talent.
Count your blessings if you're ever in hospital bold readers.
Whatever you're going through, say to yourself: "It could be worse. I could be getting a visit from James."
So here we are.
Brinsksley sits up in bed and proclaims a litany of stuff along the lines of the Bible containing geographical errors, historical inaccuracies, unrealistic depictions of the Romans, photoshopped battle scenes, blah, blah, blah.
I earnestly endeavour to refute each point.
It's intense enough and honest enough the way we argue.
The nurses and other patients are shooting me warning looks but Brinksley doesn't seem to mind.
On we go.
"There is no heaven and there's no hell," says Brinksley, "Graham Norton put it best when he said that where we are now, is hell. There's no need for any other."
This was too much for me.
"You're quoting the great theologian Graham Norton," I cried. "I mean what a gyp.Graham has pulled off the most monstrous con on the proles of England for years. He has them convinced he's a homosexual so of course the Brits give him a prime time television show. That's how careers are handed out at the BBC. But the joke is on them. The Brits don't understand the Cork accent. What they don't realise is that in County Cork, everyone talks like that. Graham Norton is in fact the most macho man in County Cork. He's the Arnold Schwarzeneggar of Cork."
Brinksley waited for me to finish.
Then, ignoring my rather amusing paean to Graham Norton he renewed his attack on God with the words: "I think your lord is a ****."
I lowered my head into my hands.
"I've shocked you, haven't I?" said Brinksley.
I groaned.
"No, no, no," I said. "It's just that I've called him the same thing and by your standards I probably didn't have much excuse."
