year of the shat

 

(idea for a novelty music video in aid of charity)

The song is a parody of Al Stewart's Year Of The Cat.

On a morning from the first ever series of Star Trek

On a planet made of papier mache

You go strolling through a time portal like William Shatner

Just starting his day

She comes out of the sun

In a short skirt

Running

In black boots in the rain

Don't bother asking

For explanations

That's regulation Star Fleet Uniform for women

In the year of the first ever series

Nerdle nerdle ner

The year of the Shat

Nirdle Nirdle ner ner

The year of the Shat

Nerdle nerdle ner ner

Morning comes and she's still with you

And the star ship and the Klingons are gone

And you've thrown away your phaser

You've lost your communicator thingie

So you've got to stay on

Near the blue tiled walls

Of the market stalls

There's a hidden door she leads you to

I know it's crazy she says but unless you kill me

Hitler wins World War Two

In the year of the Shat

Nerdle nerdle ner

The year of the Sha-a-a-a-t

Nerdle nerdle ner ner

The year of the Sha-a-a-a-t

Nerdle nerdle ner ner

She looks at you so coolly

And her eyes shine

Like incense in heaven

And she loves you

Oh so truly

But you find Spock waiting outside

(Spock's spoken voice is heard here: "I'm sorry Captain.")

In the year of the Shat

Nerdle nerdle ner ner

The year of the Shat

Nerdle nerdle ner ner

Ner nerrr

Ner  ne ner ner ner ner

Nerdle ner ner ner

Nerdle nerdle nerdle nerdle

Ner ner ner ner ner

But the drumbeat strains

Of the  night remain

And the rhythm of your broken heart

You got lucky finding Joan Collins in a time portal

But for now you've got to part

In the year of the Shat

Nerdle nerdle ner ner

The year of the Shat

Nerdle nerdle ner ner

(Instrumental break with infernal tootling from the guitarists styled Slash segooing into slightly less infernal tootling from the saxophonist styled Clarence Clemons)

Nerdle ner ner & c

On a morning from the first ever series of Star Trek

In an episode where the side plot is the ultimate destiny of the human race

You went strolling through a time portal like William Shatner

Thinking he owns the place

Ner ner ner ner ner  ner

Nerdle ner ner ner ner

Ner ner ner ner

Nerdle ner ner

Nerdle ner ner.

a power is passing from the earth

 

The phone rang.

I read the Caller Identification thing and recognised the number.

News of an aunt's death was expected.

One of the great ones.

She had loomed large in our lives.

As many of you know, I have been targetted for a number of years by some of the skangiest lowlife among the various dissolute hooring and touring drug dealing people trafficking child abusing IRA tinker gang scruff mafias of the Republic of Ireland.

I mean I don't want to go casting no aspoyshuns.

The Kinahan gang might be somebody's mother.

Hilariously, now for the first time ever, I was afraid to answer the phone.

"Well God,"I mumured, consulting the Deity as is my wont, "how about if we just say that for the next two hours she's still alive? I'll start answering phones again after that and by then I'll be a bit more ready to face things."