The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Thursday, May 10, 2018

from the heelers emails

The near death experience of Mary Neal is one of several I have commended to public attention. The others were those of Ali Perez, Don Piper, Mickey Robinson and Ian McCormack. I sent Doctor Neal the following email recently.

---------- Forwarded message ----------

Date: Sun, Apr 15, 2018 at 4:31 AM
Subject: from Ireland

Morning Dr Neal.

Have enjoyed your personal testimonies via internet for some years. Got the book too. Found your email address and invitation to write just recently. So here we are.
Some considerations.
1. Did you and your husband fake the incident? The return flight from Chile with those injuries and the decision to treat in your own practice beg this question.
2. I've read criticisms of your testimony arising from your feeling that
you had already and always known those you met after death. For some of
your readers this raised the issue of pre-existence and they considered it
a clash with Christian tradition. I did not immediately think there was a
clash. God has told us in scripture that he always knew us. Before all
ages, before he made us in our mothers' wombs, he knew us. So if we have
always been known to God, if we have always existed in the mind of God, it
doesn't necessarily cause me a problem that you say you were somehow aware that you had always known those who greeted you after death.
3. I have concluded that not all near death experience claimants are lying. I concluded this simply with reference to an aunt of mine who claimed to have had certain experiences and who I accepted wasn't lying.
4. You said in an interview: "All the promises of God are true." I have used your words in a poem.

I would not object if you wrote to me!
James Healy

Monday, May 07, 2018

star bores 22 the farce awakens

Luke Thighstalker is flying an X wing fighter craft along a narrow trench on the surface of an artificial satellite which he hopes to destroy shortly. He is beset by nearby detonations from laser gun positions. How laser beams can detonate or cause detonations without hitting something is not quite clear.

Luke: (Squinting into targeting device.) "Steady, steady."

Ben Kenobi: (A disembodied voice) "Trust in the Force, Luke."

Luke: "Ben is that you?"

Ben: "Who did you think it was? Western Union?"

Luke: "I thought it might have been Mormons. Cold calling."

Ben: "That sounds reasonable."

Luke: "Why did you just tell me to trust in the Farts?"

Ben: "Oh come on. Does that seem even remotely possible?"

Luke: "The Farce?"

Ben: "Closer. And a bit too close to the bone, frankly."

Luke: "Actually Ben, this isn't a good time. I'm kind of in the middle of something."

Ben: "Er, that's why I'm here. Or not here. But manifesting. If you know what I mean."

Luke: "Make it quick."

Ben: "Well a group of us in the after life were watching this thing by remote viewing. Don't ask. It's available on Murdock's Sky network somewhere between what he calls Reality TV and porn movies. You would not believe how often they repeat this film."

Luke: "Ben."

Ben: "Yes Luke."

Luke: "What's the afterlife like?"

Ben: "Well a lot of your family are there. There's your father Darth Vader. Your sister Princess Leia.

Luke: "Whooaaa. What?"

Ben: "Your Uncle, Reggie. He was the storm trooper that Han Solo and the Wookie shot half an hour ago. Oh and Red Leader who just got blown up earlier in the strafing run. He was your second cousin once removed. And there's a cat in heaven that's related to your cat Tiddles by morganactic union."

Luke: "Darth Vader's my father? Leah's my sister? Cousin Reggie was a storm trooper? Red Leader was my second cousin one removed? My cat's medieval royalty? And this is how you tell me? And Leah's not even dead. What's she doing in the afterlife?"

Ben: "And that dinosaur thing in The Empire Strikes Back. He's a pen friend of your dog Rover."

Luke: "I suppose these are kind of plot twists."

Ben: "Half of heaven is related to you. You'll feel right at home if this goes wrong and you get hit by one of those amazing self detonating laser beams that George Lucas seems to have invented."

R2D2: "You're nearing the target, you Dip."

Luke: "I'm nearing the target."

Ben: "Okay. Here's what I came to tell you. In the afterlife, we all thought it would be a hoot if you switched off your targeting computer and, you know, like trusted in the Farts. I mean Force."

Puke: "I'm not even sure I believe in the Farce. I mean Force. Ben, what if we're just the purposeless creatures of our jeans?"

Ben: "This is no time to go all Richard Dawkins on me. Now switch off your computer and fire that missile."

Luke: "Well, I missed. What now?"

Ben: "Er, gotta go. But the Forks will be with you always. Hold them in your left hand when eating in company. And I'm leaving you a few Watch Tower magazines in the back seat. It really is time you gave Mormonism a whirl."