The Heelers Diaries

the fantasy world of ireland's greatest living poet

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Location: Kilcullen (Phone 087 7790766), County Kildare, Ireland

Saturday, May 08, 2010

something russian this way comes

Morning to Dublin.
Coffee with the Light Of The Russias.
She daughtered me four times in the first few minutes.
"My daughter Patricia this." "My daughter Patricia that." "My daughter Patricia the other." Etc etc.
I had just come to the conclusion that maybe she had a daughter but no husband, and had just decided that this would be no problem at all, when she husbanded me.
"My husband parked the wan in the street last night and the neighbours complained," she trilled lightly.
"What?" sez I, sharpish.
"The wan," quoth she.
Clearly she was misinterpreting my question.

Friday, May 07, 2010

A Bit Irish (By Medbh Gillard and James Healy)

"What are you looking at, pervert?"

odd ditties

quantum physics
is what an atheist sees
when he looks at a miracle

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

the fireflies

the heart of the city is ablaze
with the light of a millon fireflies
electronic music carillions
a million heartless melodies
for youth to get old by

they have come
from hostelry or home
to prove they exist
as more than passing ornament
to the concrete where they kiss
but they don't

carefree cocksure cool they die
pledged in troth to a quick eternal
drunk with the glory of shining eyes
that waft a spell a touch infernal
from off the shores of paradise

jihadi central

So the truth is out.
The latest Al Qaeda attack on New York was about blowing up Viacom the makers of South Park.
That's it.
That's why the Jihadi's tried to kill a street full of people.
And all that talk about a white man emerging from the car bomb and running away... Pure horseshit.
It was a smirking Paki Al Qaeda assassin called Faisal Shazid.
Of course Faisal Shazid had American citizenship.
How very nice for him.
But who gave it to him?
Who signed off on this piece of Pakistani crap being allowed to live among us?
And of course Barack's politically correct intelligence agencies nearly let him go.
They did their level best to let him flee the country.
By leaking to the press his name and the fact that he was the number one suspect, Barack's henchmen tipped off the terrorist.
The whole thing beggars belief.
Young smirking Faisal was arrested on an Emirates passenger jet tonight as it was about to taxi onto the runway at La Guardia airport for take off.
In spite of Faisal's presence on the No Fly list, the Emirates airline was endeavouring to help him escape.
Neither Faisal's family nor his Al Qaeda associates in the US, nor Emirates airlines, need fear any reprisals from this Administration.
They will retain their liberty.
Perhaps next time their bombs will detonate.
The one thing they know is that under Barack, there will be a next time.
And another.
And another.
Because Barack Obama is more intent on criminalising President Bush's heroic actions against Al Qaeda in Afghanistan and Iraq, than in recognising the ongoing threat from the Muslim terror armies which menace the world.
This evening, Barack's intelligence agents allowed smirking Faisal's two travelling companions, ie his accomplices, to continue with their journey and flee the United States.
Barack himself went on television to deliver his usual platitudinous speech in ringing tones about America's enemies.
Lots of nonsense talk about the law running its course.
He didn't mention Al Qaeda.
Barack probably thinks Faisal Shazid is a member of a Christian militia.
The cosmic incompetencies pile up.
New York's dud mayor Michael Bloomberg, the one who on Saturday called the bomb amateurish in order to diminish the seriousness of the attack, good ole liberal billionaire Mick was back on air tonight warning New Yorkers that he, Mike Bloomberg, would tolerate no backlash against Pakistanis.
You're a big man Mike.
The question is: How long will New Yorkers and America tolerate YOU?

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

improve your brain power with uncle james

Question: If John Higgins is playing Steve Davis for the World Men's Professional Snooker championship title, and the Russian Mafia has paid John Higgins to lose to Steve Davis, while the Chinese Mafia has paid Steve Davis to lose to John Higgins, who should I bet on?

Uncle James Replies: In men's professional snooker, I always bet on the Russian Mafia.

Monday, May 03, 2010

how al qaeda got its groove back

For eight years Al Qaeda hadn't managed to land any significant punch on the American mainland.
George Bush had given the Jihadis the wars they still can't quite believe in Afghanistan and Iraq.
Guantanamo Bay had continued to operate in spite of the best efforts of Al Qaeda sympathisers in Time Magazine and Newsweek.
The fifth column hiding in the US was all but neutralised through sheer fear.
And even when the Islamic Republic of Iran looked to have successfully broken the public will of Americans on the homefront by murdering 5000 American troops through its Al Qaeda proxies in Iraq, even then, Bush didn't pull out.
Instead he unleashed Petraeus.
Petraeus was no fun for Jihadi's.
To find Petraeus, President Bush had to wade through an army top heavy with Clinton era appointees who were more comfortable discussing their sexualities than waging war.
But General Petraeus knew how to wage war.
And soon Al Qaeda was once more being attrited to destruction around Iraq and Afghanistan discovering that combat with the American army is far less fun than slitting the throats of air hostesses and crashing jet liners into buildings.
Al Qaeda has always been quite good in battle against air hostesses.
Slightly less good when they come up against the American army or the Brits.
But Bush is gone.
And we're left with President Spike Lee or whatever his name is.
And in the space of a year Obama has almost handed the entire ball game over to the Muslims.
Let's recap on the key role President Barack Obama has played in the revitalisation of Al Qaeda.
Barack Obama has released Al Qaeda agents from Guantanamo Bay, (two of whom are now living in Ireland, thank you Barack, thank you so much for those), releasing the terror army's assassins so that they can resume their nefarious deeds wherever and whenever they wish.
Barack Obama has drawn down troops from Iraq and announced a withdrawal date from that country, effectively giving the Iranians and their Al Qaeda proxies something to aim for in their strategy to outlast the Americans.
Barack Obama, in drawing down troops from Iraq, has taken the pressure off the Iranians and Al Qaeda, who have both simply redeployed terror assets to Afghanistan while maintaining their sabotage of American backed democracy in Iraq.
Barack Obama has surreptitiously suspended the No Fly list for Jihadis, as shown by the Jihad Knickerbocker Glory attack at Christmas when a Nigerian Al Qaeda agent had no problems boarding a flight for the United States and only failed to destroy it because the bomb attached to his genitals didn't explode properly. Allah U Ouch Bar as we say in the trade. Barack U Incompetent Clown Bar.
Barack Obama has once more fostered a notion in the upper ranks of the American army that sensitivity training to Muslims is more important than wiping Al Qaeda from the face of the earth. Hence Hassan Malik and numerous fellow Muslim terrorists had no problem infiltrating the ranks of the American army. After the Al Qaeda attack on Fort Hood, when terrorist Muslim Hassan Malik murdered 13 people and an unarmed baby, after the attack I say, we were treated to a new level of obscenity with the commanding General at the base saying how proud he was of the way his men gave medical treatment to the wounded and dying. His words amounted to a most shameful and abject reassertion of Clinton era Generalship. Better than Al Qaeda could ever have hoped for. Hassan Malik's family have of course been permitted to stay in the United States where they continue to dine out on the largesse of the country they wish to destroy.
Barack Obama's failure to act against Al Qaeda cells in the US, led directly to yesterday's car bomb attack on Times Square New York. Typically New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg, a billionaire managerial idiot bien pensant who believes in nothing and no cause, typically Bloomberg went live on television talking about an "amateurish" bombing attempt. Bloomberg was trying to distract attention from the near certainty that the car bomb was an Al Qaeda device. One New York police officer responded to Bloomberg's posturings by saying: "Nine Eleven was amateurish. They still managed to kill 3000 people." Barack Obama's administration is pursuing the line that the New York bombing could have been staged by anyone. The writer Mark Steyn has noted that the car bomb was placed close to the offices of the company that makes South Park, a cartoon which Al Qaeda agents have been successful in persuading the Comedy Central television network to censor. A young member of Al Qaeda openly printed the addresses of the makers of South Park on a Jihadi website. This young Al Qaeda thug did so in the full knowledge that neither he nor his family will ever be thrown out of America by Barack Obama.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

lines on the page